Did you’se reprobates know that Tyra had a stalker? I know right! Look at poor TyTy baby leavin the courthouse and she’s still modeling with her eyes, good girl! When I read about this, I had to sniff my coffee to make sure the Starbucks girl hadn’t put a little chuggin gin in my latte again. At 1st I thought it would be some finger snappin, lip glossed crossdresser, in run over Payless clogs and a $1 store wig that wanted to replace her as the fiercest piece in daytime but to my suprise it’s an honest to goodness stalker. I thought stalking went out with shoulder pads and jellies?! You know she’s gonna turn this crap into a 3 part “very special” Tyra show and there’s gonna be some tranny givin out tips on self defense and how to create an authentic looking cameltoe, such an ordeal! Who stalks anymore? I mean there was that one time when I made that movie with Grace Jones on my video phone while she was asleep but that’s different b’cuz I love her like soooo much………….no really, it’s totally different. Hiding in bushes, lurking outside windows, creating authentic looking counterfeit credentials and badges to gain access to wherever they are……………I mean, that’s just what I heard they do, besides, that’s just too much work and I can’t be missin Oprah…………oops, I mean Tyra…………..
I’m so sorry, I’ve been a WHORE-ible blog moderator. No new material or nothin but my computer is on itz rag and it ain’t good for nothing no more so till I fix it I have to use the computer at the library. They only let you use it for 2 hours so there’s so much other crap I have to do daily online that I haven’t had much time to blog. My computer at home just stares at me now but I want you to know that using the computer at the library is just as bad as it sounds. I liken it to getting hit in the face with a freight train………….it’s just not a good experience. I forgot that library’s smell like menopause and low life expectations. Calgon take me away to the apple computer store for a new laptop! Donations anyone?!
Since the new Hannah Montana movie made $34 million at the box office, it’s safe to say that her fan base of sugar high, musty young girls and horny, greasy palmed, lurkin’n'lonely old men couldn’t have given a hot colonic about the tragedy she unleashed at the actual premiere. There’s a stylist somewhere that deserves a glass of hot piss to the face for makig a lovely girl look like Penthouse ‘Hoe Dealin Of The Month’. Now no one told me Hannah Montana was going into porn! I mean, is this a showing for a Disney film or did we make a wrong turn and end up at a Jenna Jameson 4 hour featurette. I bet that dress comes with secret pocket filled with complimentary birth control snackin pills and flavored sugar free sexin rubbers. I mean it’s a Missoni, so I guess I should like it but for some reason I have the strong urge to tear up my mama’s house robe and make an attempt at couture, I mean a hoe rag……………and……………….and are those…………………are those Payless shoes?!?! Oh, the WHOREmanity! Miley is too cute to be lookin like someones weekend tasty sang’which spread! On the other hand, lookin at her in that dress, who knew she was holdin like that?
Oh Miley m’dear, please just don’t shave your head and attack yo baby daddy SUV with an umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh!
I barely have any idea what fooseball is or whatever they call it, but when PETA starts actin’ a malnourished, grass eatin fool, I take notice! Everyone knows what an idiot Michael Vick made of himself when he destroyed his career by getting caught up in a dog fighting ring. However, did you know that those flyin whore monkeys over at PETA wrote every single major league football team, petitioning them not to sign him when he was released from jail? If that ain’t the cock block to end ‘em all and spoil a wet dream! I mean it’s one thing to douse a fur wearer with pigs blood, that’s just clean, wholesome fun but it’s another thing to diddle with a brotha’s paycheck? Brokeness(not an actual word) has never been fashionable.
Now I know in the past that I’ve expressed hate for PETA and the possibility of dousing them in used cooking oil from KFC and settin’ them on fire for a 4th of July light show that would kill *pun* but c’mon! They’re so full of it, they’d take out a family of 6 in a mini-van to save a rabid stray crossing the freeway, clutching a new born in it’s mouth. Those sphincter pirating slut bags! Look, I don’t like the whole dog fighting thing either and I believe he should’ve gone to jail too but he’s paid his debt to society so you people need to chill out and go eat a steak or somethin. I’m gonna line your veggie burgers with meat from an endangered species you’se whorez!
WoW! I’m sorry my Good Judys, I know I’ve neglected you like unwanted broken condom babies but I’ve been real busy. I’ve been neglecting you all like a dead beat dad, the only thing missing is some nice cigarette burns. I really do apologize but my apartment complex and the utility companies are forcing me to actually work so I can pay for unimportant crap like indoor plumbing and a place to live, those money lustin whore monkeyz, ARRRGGH! Whatever the case, I’ve returned plucked, spackled, waxed and polished, lookin more beautiful than evah! I hope you children are still with me, Glam’ah! Check out the new, dreadlock free me. Enjoy my face………..
Don’t I look like a little boy now? A cute little boy with mischief on his mind………..
It’s a stampede of candidates for America’s Next Flop Model. Yes childrenz, you read right, they stampeded like a hoard of cows tryin to get to the feedin trough at the Olive Garden, Moooooo! Not to volunteer to help in a needy community or to provide blood so there would be surplus for life saving purposes or to burn Anna Wintour in effigy, not important causes like that. No, these delicate young heffas straight grid-ironed and clawed and catted their way forward for the chance to bask in the glow of Tyra’s premium silky weave. I know Tyra’s gonna turn this into a “very special Tyra” episode and talk to the “victims” about how they overcame this “hardship” and it’s all gonna lead back to her. I mean really, must we push, everyone will have their chance to be told to go kill themselves. This is just ridiculous, I thought I was watchin’ a soup line in a 3rd world country and what’s pitiful is that most of these wannabes will be models when Satan starts up an ice cold lemonade stand in hell on the 4th of “Nevuary”. I would call them whores for attention but I gave up snarkiness for lent………………………so I won’t call them whores……………………I’m just not gonna call them whores……………………no, I’m not calling them that…………not whores………………………wait, what is lent again?
Look at all that Beyonkey Donkey poured into a breathtaking Thierry Mugler original. It’s like a bucket of KFC original but tastier and much more greasy. Oh to be the Spanx huggin all 32′-24′-36′ of that jelly. Beyonce taunts we the fashion elite on the set of her tour promo shoot in a Mugler one of a kind that is clearly NOT House of Dereon, Mama Tina gon’ kill her a few stylists before lunch. I don’t know if you all remember, but Mugler has designed all the costumes and pieces for Beyonce’s new world tour, including that of her dancers and band. I don’t know how much that costs but let’s just say to pay for it, I’m sure Sasha Fierce is gonna have to shake that monkey until it shatters and falls to pieces. If this is just a taste of what Mugler has designed for B’s new tour, clearly I’m going to need a wet nurse and a fresh pack of Depends cuz I’ll be soiling myself with sheer delightz. Actually, I’m soiling myself right now and you all have been a part of it………….and that just makes is that much more special Indiez. Now pass me a baby wipe……..thank ya dear.
Just so you know, I have CPS on speed dial and you’re 1 violation away from me using it douchecock!
Fashnophiles and Loving Parents the only thing worse than those horrible eye sores called Crocs is Dora The Explorer Crocs and the only thing worse than that is actually dressing your child up in those Whora The Explora Crocs, AAARRRGGHH! KILL NOW!
A chick brought her child into my shop to get her hair braided and lo and behold that little monkey had on Dora The ‘Freakin’ Explorer Crocs. There’s actually merchandise that bares her likeness which I’m exceedingly sure was constructed in the 3rd world by lil’ Paco or Ming Choo at a whopping 1cent a day salary, therefore pissing us off just that little bit extra. How do you know you could be out parented by a poo slingin’ chimp? 1) Your daughter’s on the pole 2) Your daughter’s creepin like TLC 3) Your child owns a pair of Dora The Explorer Crocs…………clearly you’ve failed!
If you don’t kill her, I will!
It was all I could do not to douse the child in holy water and curse the prince of darkness for the pure and unholy, cockeye-ded foolishness’es that was set before my eyes. I could just see the blood and sweat of underpaid sweat shop laborers glistening off the logo while that Explora The Whora smiled back at me. I don’t know why I hate that little box headed trollop but I know that a forray into fashion is sure to get the offices of Nickelodeon a medley of hate mail and unmarked, ticking packages. Stop It! Stop It Now! OVAH HA!
Look children, it’s Gwyny P. lookin all fab and stuff! Oh My GAHD! Her shoe/bag game is bananas, BANANAS I tell ya and the fact that this woman recently bazooka’d out 2 screaming larva should really make you begin to make some life assessments. Chris Martin must be (get ready for one of my ghetto soliloquies) beatin’ it out the frame in fulfillment of those husbandly duties. She looks all refreshed and optimistic about tomorrow, not like the mother of two migraines but like a woman with a randy husband home from prison! Whatever the case, I just want to spread her on a Triscuit with aerosol cheese and snort her like the last fix I can afford till payday, but since she’s all vegamorterium(not a real word) I’ll just have her in some bean curd with a wheat grass chaser………..
………………….since this is my blog and because I’m a sci-fi geek and because I determine what’s Haute and because I’d be willing to sell your mother to cosmetic corporations as a lab test rat for the funds and because I kill yawl with Ovahness like eh-ve-ry-day and because I’d Bonnie and Clide the store that carries them if it didn’t mean I’d have to go to jail and be the man-wife of a raunchy, crazed one eye’d man and because I good and well feelz like it……………..I give you Transformer Tees by Perfectly Flawed for BambooA. Reverence the merchandise childrenz!
-Z’maji, “Because I like it and I shoulda put a ring on it…………?!”
Warning: HSN products cause nausea, scabies, the cancers, the crazies and a big ol booty. Click at your own risk – Tina Knowles HSN collection
I lovez you Tina, so sexi mammi!
Peoplez, in case none of you received the note I sent via carrier pigeon, I personally have a crush on Mrs. Tina Knowles *singing Here’s to you Mrs Robinson/Jesus loves you more than you will know*. Hot old chicks rock! However, anytime anyone starts peddlin’ wares on HSN, my spidey sense starts tingling and I get a huge rash on my butt the shape of Texas. We all know that the whole House of Dereon thing hasn’t gone so well since most of what they’ve put out can only be worn on stage ‘Survivin’ with Destiny’s Child or pattin yo weave on the set of Single Ladies. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still drank Beyonce’s bathin’ water after a rough and sweaty world tour but Dereon wasn’t what I thought it would be………………or actually it’s exactly what I thought it would be *sad face/disappointment in life*.
Everything’s just so random and the word “cohesive” is like a child no one wanted but no one had the courage to get rid of so they just ignore it. I stang by how yummi Tina Knowles make me feel on the inside part but it’s time to put this project sleep in the sweet rest of Jesus and euthanasia. Of course, I am talking about HSN and that’s where fashion is murdered slowly along with your salary. Which brings me to my 2nd point, I’ll be starting an HSN rehabilitation group soon……..not for me, for you………really………..don’t judge Z’maji!
Do you remember when you’d watch a Lindsey Lohan movie and before you knew it, you were drooling into your popcorn with the butter like oil substance? There was a time when that freckled bosom was the most searched for thing online. Search engines where crashing at the overwhelming quest of young boys and dirty geezers to find just a twinkle of milky white Mean Girl flesh…………..God, I’ve made me’self hot. Now-a-days however, I’d rather watch Rosie O’Donnel win a wet t-shirt contest *shiver*. That might be a bit dramatic but I won’t take it back, I’m gangsta like that. What happened to that hot piece that was making crappy teen movies and bein all readheaded and hot and stuff? This is the problem with celebrity. I always compare fame to one of those sucky face spider things from the movie Alien, it’s ALWAYS gonna end real bad. It just sucks the life from you and all that’s left is an emaciated douchebag on auto-pilot. Dude, I mean, I wouldn’t hit it with YOUR no-no!
– Z’maji, “Hello……….Fed-Ex…………yes, can I deliver 5 whole hamz and a side of beef and a tub of lard and some aerosol cheese and a box of red hair dye to Lindsey Lohan……………………yea, we gotta bring the sexy back……….*click*……hello?………..”
Y’know loves, it feels like a CHICO’s kinda day (ewwww) so I wanted to treat you to some behind the scenes smut from Chrissy Siriano. Awwww, look at our little ferocia being all authoritative and influential and thangs. Everytime I see that gravity defying, razor sharp do, I get giddy all up and through my heart region……………all up and through *sniffle*. Now, I heard through sour grapes on the grapevine that someone, somewhere was sippin on a haterade martini beverage because my homeboy over at Fashion Indie, Daniel Saynt, was gonna crash Siriano’s showing at Fashion Week. You people just better thank Anna Wintour’s wig set that I wasn’t there to crash the show. The carnage I would’ve poured out on those poor little door people with their precious little lists. Fashion Week blood shed is just so PETA and you know how much I love them *finger down throat*. Now move, I came to see Chrissy.
-Z’maji, “Hello, 911, yes there’s been a mass butt-whoppin at Fashion Week…………..I don’t know, some beautiful Man-Diva beat down the entire door staff! There was so much Ovahness!”
Candid, front row footage of the Siriano showing, please don’t drool on my blog or I’ll kill you………no seriously, I’ll scratch your eyes out!
Ooooo Aubrey, Giiiiirrrl, You Such A Natural Beauty and Stuff……this can’t possibly be airbrushed! *WAMP-WAMP-WAAAANH*
Today in Never-Ever land, somebody got airbrushed to the Motha McLovin T. The cover says it’s Aubrey but this lump of undefined silicon anime, doin it’s best Jessica Rabbit bit, couldn’t possibly be my sweet little church girl. I guess washing windshields at stop lights or goin to a temp agency to find a position of employment was out of the question. How do you go from multi-platinum girl group to servin up monkey fixins and sexy cakes in Playwhore? This is definitely not successful career planning We here as FashionINDIE frown upon such shady dealins.
Whomever let the little boy play with the photo shop software over there at the magazine needs a good shrapnel facial and a chemical peel with boiled tranny urine………I’m sorry, Extra Virgin Tranny Urine.
She looks like a bedazzled albino turd. It’s like RuPaul had too many of those microwaved pizza roll abominations and 2 hours later, after he calmed down from thinking he was having menstrual cramps, realized it was just a gut bubble, puckered and manured’ out God’s beloved that sits before you. Look at my angel all rouged and ready for a Kodak. DAMAGED indeed! Well I hope she at least got a box of Krispy Kremes out of it. I guess if it was a choice between suckin up to Diddly-Bops douchewater or playin Bingo with Hephner, I’d choose dry humps at the retirement home too. I love you so Aubrey……………..no, real talk, I really love you.
– Z’maji, “When you play dominos with Satan Diddy, this is what happens…………….THIS is what happens……”
*The following post is snarky, however, let’s not get it mixed up, Teqkillya still looks so ridiculously d’lushiss…………..naughty, but d’lushiss*
Behold the pure virginal holiness and sanctified church girl glam’ah of Asian American reality T.V. tiddiez. Now don’t get me wrong, Like any red blooded American male I likez breasticals just like the next pervert but a brassiere should not be worn as a shirt unless you’re a stripper, porno beaver about to perform despicable actz or an evening woman of questionable repute…………..of course, we are talking about Tila Teqkillya.
Okay, Mommi, I get it. You bought some fresh new silicon setz to prop up your bra meatz and you’d like to play show and tell with the rest of the class. However m’dear, you shouldn’t be allowing people to check out the groceries until they pay all surcharges, service and admission fees. I mean if’n you’re going to dress like a back alley, 360 degree, any-kinda-way-whore you should conduct your bidniss as such. Love ya Teqkillya.
* ‘Teqkillya’ is courtesy of extraWhoredinary.com *
Hello Kitty is more than an entrepreneur, she’s a bitter Nazi like dictator bent on world domination *meow*. That thang is spreadin’ like a burnin’ venereal disease amongst the children at Spring Break in Cancun, with no sign of remission. I thought I had seen it all when I saw those Asian terrorists with Hello Kitty Rifles, I was so done you coulda served me as dinner at Oprah’s with mama bizkitz and taterz. However, not to be deterred, Ms. Kitty forges on with a fresh cosmetics line through M.A.C. or as many of you reprobates call them God! What will HK do next? Maybe Hello Kitty Colostomy bags? A Hello Kitty wooden prosthetic leg with a hungry termite in it and the termite is wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt & beret? No?
For those of you who thought I was kidding and would dare to question my authoritaaaar! See God’s beloved weildin’ said object below:
Here’s Coco Rocha in Spanish Vogue(I would’ve said Vogue Espana but I can’t figure out how to put the ~ over the ‘n’ *shamed*). A few years ago, Vogue did a issue called “The Worlds Next Top Model”, which featured 10 fresh faces including Chanel Iman, Agyness Deyn and sweet Coco. Even though all the girls looked in serious need of cornbread and donut’n'pork sausage sang’whiches, I saw heaven in Coco’s food deprived eyes. From that moment on, I knew I’d love her till the 12th of never when Karl LagerfeldSatan brought back bowler hats and Doc Martins. In all honesty, that’s true, she totally killed that issue like none of the other girls could. Clearly they were too hungry to give face ovahness and pose silly down like sweet Coco. Now be silent and worship. If you’re good she’ll frown for you and make your life of value, insolent dogs.
- Z’maji, “Oh Coco, I’ve just promoted your career and you didn’t even have to promise me your 1st born”
(WARNING: May Cause Sexual Arousalmentation………ness)
Back in the day Christina Milian had a song called, “Get Away“ and I fell head over heels in stalk love, even when she started makin sexi timez with Nick Cannon *jealous*. Everyone has their flaws, maybe at the time she had low self-esteem or a brain aneurysm or a yeasty infection that was affecting her ability to make responsible life choices? Whatever the case, she was and still is a vision of ‘thank ya jesus’. Her new song “Us Against The World”is refreshing but the daring leotards are like pure adrenaline. I know my pulse was racing – wait, maybe that was for another reason, down boy*woof*. Anyway, congratulationings to sensational model Nick Desewho plays Christina’s mysterious desert lover mayne. Unfortunately, they ended the scene before we got to see some butta brown relations but I’d like to believe he rocked her wig……….in the biblical sense of course. I really hope he wifes her and lives off the residue.
-Z’maji, “ *watches video for the 30th time,sigh* ”
Oh NO! The projects ain’t safe no more, not with Lagerfeld hustlin’ these mean streetz. Don’t you just know he has an illegal concealed weapon, narcotics & barbiturates under his clothing………..after all he is Beelzebub, Oh Mighty Prince of Darkness! Fresh!
I love Fergadocious just like the next person that doesn’t hate her and wish her dead but THIS ain’t her. Please, understand me, I’m all for airbrushing out bullet wounds and cellulitus meatz and the stretch marks of low self esteem, but when I have to do an investigation into who in the photoChoped, pixelated hail you are, we’ve overdone it just a wee taste. There ain’t enough workin out of the fitness in the world that would merit these foolishnesses before us.
Well…………..whoever this young lady is, she’s lovely and showgirl plumage is so in this season, git it mommi!
Z’maji, “Maybe I’m wrong. Does married life stretch the face and tiddy bosomz to perfection?”
PETA won’t be happy till we’re wearing human skin parkas and eating burgers made out of everyday peoplez. Those tree molestin’ loons continued they’re push toward a certified assault to the face and vital organs from yours truly with their latest whoring for attention being on food, which of course is 1 of my favorite past-times. I’ve tollerated the foolishness about the fur *zones out, gurgles, ”Fur is murder, faaaaaabulous murder”* but when you start messin with my Fillet-a-fish (if that’s what it really is) from McDumpys and baby fish eggs on crisp soda crackers well that’s just Un-American, Un-American indeed!
Honestly, I’m not really bothered. If they call them ’sea kittens’, that’s just a cute name I can think of as I inhale a plate of ‘em with tater fries and fixins. Being a black southern gentleman, from sturdy, cholesterol rich country people, I’ve eaten my weight in catfish many times over. So I just need PETA to know that if they try to mess with my tasty’n'fried, fatnin ’sea kittens’, lives will be lost…………..no seriously I’ll claw their eyes out, I mean it.
Z’maji, “Here kitty, kitty, kitty…………Z’maji wants to give you a nice warm corn meal and hot grease bath”
Oh my’lanta, I guess one Beckham servin’ up the monkey fixins and sexy cakez wasn’t enough. It’s amazing that Victoria Beckham doesn’t do a thing in life but show up on red carpets and pose for ads and get paid millions, I ain’t mad or nothin’, I just wish she’d return my call about that little $3,000,000 payday loan I asked her about when she woke up and I was standing over her bed watching her sleep. I said I’d pay it back dang! People get a lil husband with some money and position in the world and they act like they can’t let you hold a lil sumthin.
Honestly, I think this is all a plot for Armani to be able to have portraits of the Beckhams in compromising positions *woof* hanging in his private bathroom at the castle for “personal” sexy time(it gets lonely at the top ya’ll)…………or maybe that’s just what I’d do…………..don’t judge me.
Z’maji, “Can you believe she still ain’t got back 2 me about that 3 mill?”
It’s Converse Shin Hi Boots and I’m not sure if I’m inflamed with anger of a thousand burning fire crotches or bubbling with girlish anticipationz. It might just be a tummy bubble, those habanero wings are wondrous but they give me more hot air than the politicians ”makin” on our country. I’m sure it’s the latter but please act as tho it’s not so that my naughty bitz still feel manly. I really think these could pair well with a slim cut jean or even a clean khaki slack with a cuffed hem but what do I know
*que orchestral theme music*
”All Hail The Supreme High Priest of Man Diva Ovahness – HA”
So……………ummmm, if anybody feels led to…………um…………….y’know, but them…………….for me……………………………..please don’t hesitate.
Z’maji, “And no I will not be trading ‘favors’ for them……………….this time *shamed*”.
I don’t understand how you can have lots of cash money fundages that you didn’t have to lay on your back to make or get on your knees for and you can’t for the love of Sasha Fierce’s glitter poo find a stylist with an original point of view *Grrrr*.
I’m belly achin’ of course because the Golden Globes went down a few days ago (and by ‘Golden Globes WENT DOWN’, I don’t mean Pam Anderson made another tape with Tommy) and even tho the ladies were dressed to the Motha-McLovin-T, the ensembles were all so monotonous, typical and just plain ol’ icky caca boring. You know things are wrong when you start to make life choices such as, “should I keep watching this trash or go in my closet and smother myself in a pile of couture?” It was more painful to watch than sitting in another city whilst your FashionINDIE co-workers live blog from the sidelines of a fashion show *sad*…………and that’s real tangible pain like kidney stones or asbestos panties or anger sex with Judge Judy.
I can see your Halo. I bask in the beauty of your light, bound by the energy of your being. In the warmth of your aura I am reborn, enraptured by the supernatural, overwhelmed with your divine nature. Your energy. Your truth. Your Halo.
I’ve been real excited about the 09′ award season but I see I would’ve gotten more thrill out of a syringe of premium grade butt fat on it’s way into some ancient socialite’s lips and slinky-like bosom sectionz. Don’t get me wrong, many of the women were dressed to the motha-mclovin-T but their wardrobe choices had all the flavor and refreshment of that urine beverage water the Kathie Lee sweat shop kids drink. I’m surprised that the red carpet didn’t roll it self up and quit in the middle of the precession, just pissed cuz it all sucked so much. I just love how these chicks get on the red carpet and stand there like I owe them a box of crackers and a Valium for successfully putting on clothing. No you’ll get your Scoobie snax and extracurricular pill fix when you show up in the proper goods, now let’s start killing some stylists………………….FIRING, I meant firing some stylists, that’s what I meant.
Now that I’ve passed that dramatic turd, The HAUTES & the nautes:
The HAUTES:
‘Auf Wiedersehen’ indeed cuz it’s nothing but goodbye and ovahness when Heidi blessed the dead-carpet with a playful vintage cocktail dress by Galliano
Drew looked sexy and fresh out the bed from award night love gettin’ in Dior by Galliano.
The cliched red dress was anything BUT on lil Eva(that’s her gangsta rap name) by Reem Acra.
Lady McJiggle’Yums looked ready for some good ol’ Texas hog-tyin’ and chitlin shuckin at the spring cotillion. A thick & buttery vision in Elie Saab.
“I’ll never let go” said Kate Winslet before she dunked Leo’s cold lifeless body, to save her own, after their ocean liner sort of capsized……….and she remembered she had this dress at home. Thank God she’s selfish cuz she’s killin yawl in classic Yves St. Laurent.
Some really hot colored chick named Viola Davis, with magnificent upper baby feedin’ setz and a whole lot of pretty teeth.
JLo’s butt wore Marchesa and the rest of her for an accessory.
St. Angie of La Bradford in Versace. Her only jewelry? Her heart of gold and the glory of the lord.
Susan Sarandon holding it down for the grannies with healthy libidos and high perky bosomz in Hugo Boss.
the nautes:
Disclaimer: The following may cause nausea and intense disappointment along with feelings of depression and a sense of injustice.
Cam, maybe you should “smoke” AFTER you’ve picked out your ensemble from now on boo!
I personally think Rumer Willis is lovely buuuuuutttt……………….I will say however, if you just put your thumb right over her head, this picture works itself out. Ronald McDonald did not approve the sell of his hair color to the everyday peoplez.
Glen Close is such a handsome woman, I love her black Baptist Easter Sunday outfit. I’m just waiting for her to “catch the Holy Ghost”.
*stares blankly*
“Arrrgggh! And after the croc ate me hand, he dressed me up in the dark with no bra so’s me teets could hang to me knees”
Questionable Mention:
I don’t think this is as bad as people say it is. It’s just the sleeves and the “my breath smells like low self-esteem and I can taste it” face are bad accessorization…………….is that a word?
I wants it and I wants it NOW! Last year was a not very friendly to the advancement of my wardrobe and personal belongings. I was thinking about stealing what I wanted but thievery is so not in season, neither is being caught and going to the clink to play wife to some big dude named Lester with a penchant for rough lovin *shudder*. So instead I’ll let you all getz it for me……………….stop laughin’ you!
Stephen SprouseLouis Vuitton collection by Marc Jacobs. Why yes, yes I am a label whore.
Asus T91 convertible touch screen PC. It does something important but I just want it cuz it’s sexifull.
Billionaire Boys Club Diamond Dollars Gold Backpack *drooling and mindless babbling*
Space Diaper from who else but the Japanese (love the Hentai diagram. What!? Sometimes I be bloggin and I don’t wanna get up, you don’t know me!
LV Monogram Canvas Sac a Dos Bosphore(the real thing, NOT a knock off, slay the bootlegerz, slay them now). I was The Louis Vuitton Don back when Kanye was wearin’ Wal-Mart clearance items and Blue Blockers.
Raf Simons space boots………………..that is all.
Paco Rabanne 1 Million fragrance, becuz every man should smell like an expensive hustler with morals and an eager libido.
So many people say they blog cuz it’s fun, which I agree with but I’m trying to keep it pushin and stack some fun coinage. Why not get paid for your intellectual content, of course in my case I don’t know if you’d consider my foolishness intellectual? Are you laughing again? *anger*
Skull Candy “TI” headphones cuz I’m so retro nouveau and I gotta still look cuter that other people whilst I surf the blogosphere
The Beatles collectibles by Stanley Kubrick. Only problem is they look so real, I just know they’ll come to life while I sleep and kill me like in “Tales From The Hood”. I know such shame for actually seeing that movie.
Courtney, Courtney, Courtney! Fashion Police can’t even get this one, the government is gonna have to establish a whole new agency to take care of this offense. Now they’se gonna raise taxes and gas will be higher than meth-heads on payday. I guess some good does come out of this tragic scene, it makes me remember my D.A.R.E. training from elementary school. Now I believe it was ”just say no to barbiturates and anything you can’t pronounce” or was it “don’t sniff the white out?”……………..whatevaz. Now pass the Sharpies, I’m comin’ down! *CHEEZE*
-Z’maji, “Kurt Cobain would be ashamed or maybe he’d be oddly arroused?”
Fashionophiles, I must apologize for neglecting you like Katrina victims & unwanted redheaded abortion survivin’ baby childrenz (down with baby killerz *GRRRR*). However it’s 09′ so let’s all step it up a lil and stop smokin’ crack pebbles and sleepin’ with random homeless people and buyin’ sweat shop knock offs. It’s time to be better than we were in 08′. You can trust, I’m SO back and you can take that to the bank………….just don’t cash that girl till Friday, those insufficient fund fees suck horse pa-kee-kee!
Z’maji, “09′ is mine, MU-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA *dramatic much*”
Well Fashionophiles, we’ve come to the end of this gaping maw of a butthole we call 2008. Being the selective douchecack that I am, I felt I needed to violate you one last time like R Kelly at a Girl Scouts sleepover before we cross over into 09′. This year has been bitter sweet hasn’t it my Fashionophiles?
We got our 1st black president but we lost a hot, stacked soccer mom with power suits that made Hilary Clinton’s snicker doodle implode with jealousy.
Britney brought sexy back but Amy CrackHouse started looking like something out of Thriller.
Christian Siriano released magnificent product, taking his spot as a candidate for fashion’s future but this season’s Project Runway sucked man-berriez like eager back alley prostitwats.
Fashion Indie’s Fashion Week Brooklyn was the toast of New York but Marc Jacobs continued to flash bystanders that malnourished little peen from under his crushed velvet man skirt………..NYPD did nothing, PIGS!
Daniel Saynt and Rebecca Alexander of Fashion Indie joined in matrimony, filling the world with love and beauteously raunchy married relations but Spencer and Heidi threatened us with the possibility of producing offspring, filling the world with fear and horror, sending some into suicidal fits of madness.
Sasha Fierce killed in Grace Jonesesque chic but made stinky poo glitter all over music.
Kanye West pushed the limits of urban fashion but Kanye West pushed the limits of urban fashion…………..and yes he’s still ‘IGNANT’, his brain is still lodged betwixt his sphincter!
My fellow site FashionIndie got more awesome-er but Annie Wintour is still in power devouring the souls of our young, all whilst enjoying high tea…………..and she still ain’t got rid of that tired and ovah bob!
And lastly but most importantly, I’ve never been more sexifull…………Put A Ring On It!
See ya on the other side my little Haute Ones!
– Z’maji aka: The High Priest of Man-Diva Ovahness!
