Sex & The City: More Satisfying Than Fornicating Beyonce!

I know Amy, who knew that the movie would be that good.  I’m just as shocked as you……now stop cutting yourself,  self mutilation is sooooo 90’s!!!

 

I really was expecting the movie to be good but I really didn’t expect it to be as good as it was.  I really am pleased that the writers and SJP took the time to give us quality instead of deficatin’ on we the loyal fans of the series.  I really was expecting them to screw us like cheap hooker trollops at Motel 6,  but they really pulled out all the stops.   I really needed me an S&TC fix.  I don’t know about you peoples but I was starting to itch like a crackhead.  I mean I don’t think it’s good to go that long without gratuitous sex viewage and obscenely decadent fashion usage.  I was about to hold up Saks 5th and make the sales girls act out scenes from the show.  It was gon’ be real ugly off in the ready-to-wear department…..TRUST!

However, Carrie,  Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte didn’t miss a beat as they sashayed back onto the screen,  in the finest labels and overactive sex organs, ready to win our hearts all over again.  They truly succeeded.  Not only was there plenty of dirty sexy time in the movie but there was actually a semi-full frontal from Gilles Marini, who played Samantha’s next door, man-whoring neighbor,  SCANDAL, Jesus is not pleased,  I should know, he sent me a text about it…..true.   Look how displeased whyte Jesus is………..

This movie literally had everything you would want and stuff you didn’t even know you wanted.  Good job SJP.  So I guess it’s time to break out that ol’ celibacy…..till we has the SEX again

-Z’maji,  “If’n you want to know more, stop bein’ cheap and go see the film,  I shan’t betray my sweet Miranda’s…….I could neva’ upset me’ darlin’ firecrotch!”