Haute Mama: Black Don’t Crack!!!

Yes Ma’am. Look at Ms. Bassett givin’ yawl pose, servin’ you girls like McDonald’s.  Angie was scrumshatashous (captain obvious) on the red carpet for the premiere of “Meet The Browns” (it comes out Friday, go see it or GOD will let Paris Hilton release another album).  Yes Fashnophiles, black don’t crack,  it might catch a sickle cell or the diabetes, but crack……..oh no sir!   Now lust for her empire waisted, cream colored gown with the encrusted- keyhole bodice and plunging neck line.  I know some girls half her age ain’t never had bosom meats like that,  49 years old never looked MORE worthy of havin’ a stalker than right here…..right now…..

 -Z’maji, “I wonder if Lawrence Fishburne shows up in the movie to beat her……..y’know, for old times sake?”

    

 

HAUTE Style: Kim Kardashian - Beyond Cheap Porn

 

The newly dubbed socialite(GAAAHG) and Reggie Bush detainee was recently at the ‘Style Your Slim’ event looking like a peice of ‘CLAWD-HAMERCY’ dipped in ‘THANK YA JESUS’ with a side of ‘HALLE-LUCYAH’.  Check out Ray J’s ex-jump off in a lovely silicon hugging grey sweater dress and sueded knee high boots,  just screams cash funds don’t it?Just goes to show that it doesn’t matter if someone “stole” a private moment that you and your then boyfriend tapped for “your own personal use”,  you still can come out on top………or on bottom or whatever position that you’ll decide to bend yourself into next.  Now just because you can’t take career advice from Ms. K, that doesn’t mean you can’t get some style tips from her.  Afterall she is a……..a um……….socialite?

-Z’maji, “Say YES to silicon buns of jelly”

Get HAUTE Like Kim:

Rebecca Taylor mini tunic

‘Juicy Couture’ Juicy Pearl Bow Hoops

Pedro Garcia ‘Xaide’ Boot in Suede

Knee-High by Zulli

Roberto Cavalli Velvet Pochette (raised floral embellishment)

Alice & Olivia Sequined Sweater Dress

HAUTE ‘N’ Random

 

Didn’t pregnant women used to sit at home in their moo-moos, eating  away and packin on pounds of grease with swollen k’ankles and tender, irritated breasts.  So what in the name of Popeyes Crispy Chicken and Scrumpziouz Biskeets is this vision of hefty perfection that is Halle Berry.  Some barren women don’t even look THIS good (apologies to the barren)

 -Z’maji, “Is it sick to say that she makes me hotter preggers?………anybody……….no?

“HAUTE” Mama: Monica B’s sweet goldilocks

                                       

The most fabulous piece of fine feminine fortitude to ever cross the Atlantic, Monica Bellucci, is on the cover of the November edition of Vanity Fair-Italy.  Someone’s been eatin’ their Wheaties!  The Italian vixen pouts her way through a breathtaking layout in black nylons and a very lucky white sheet……pose Monica….do it baby.  Monica, blonde is your friend,  eat your heart out Kate Moss……….you know she’s hungry too.

               

-Z’maji, “mmm, I-talian, my faaav’rite”

Mmmmm, that smells niiiice

This is just for you my beauties.  The wonderful people over at Estee Lauder have released into the ozone a “jummy” new fragrance, lovingly called “Estee Lauder Private Collection”.  Supposedly, Estee Lauder, for which the company was named, used to give this potion to only her closest friends and now her grand daughter, Aerin, is reviving it in honor of her legendary grandmother.  The nostalgic “Private Collection” 2.5 oz bottle and solid parfum compact are bedecked with semiprecious stones.  Also available are 2.5 and 1 ounce Eau de Parfum bottles and a luxurious tuberose body creme……fashionable huh???  Get it…………NOW!!!