Beautiful Ones: Face

 

HAUTE Models: Agyness Is Still That Chick!

Look at Agyness rockin’ those pristine white Balenicaga gladiator heels for UK Vogue.  They didn’t use her in an editorial this time but does it really matter?!  Look at that cover!  She’s still m’favorite and slicker than your average.  Do it Mamma…………and close your legs, what will Mum think?

HAUTE Models: Gabe Makes Martha & MiMi Moist

 Macy’s - Gabriel Aubry, Mariah & Martha Stewart

 

 Top model and Halle Berry’s sperm donor/baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry, is in a high-frikkin-larious new ad for Macy’s.  He has recently become the new face for Calvin Klein and what a face…….if you like that sort of ruggedly handsome, golden boy look *bitter much?*.  Check out Martha Stewart checkin out his rump and MiMi gettin’ all flustered when ole boy comes strollin’ through the Macy’s lobby leaving a barrage of horny female sales reps quivering in his wake.  You aught not to make the womens fell all creamy like that you cruel, cruel man.  So he’s a successful model with legions of women that want to be his best “friend” and he’s bumpin’ uglies with Halle Berry?  You MUST have sold your soul to the Devil, nobody’s that lucky! 

-Z’maji, “Watch out Gabe, MiMi will eat your face & lay eggs in your dead carcass…….God I love her”

P.S. Check out Gabe with his baby Momma :

Tastier than a plate of interracial neck bones, yummiez

 

HAUTE Models: Holly Wins…..If Only She Was Mute

…….or maybe if I was deaf.  Holly Kiser, the newbie from Appalachia, beat out 13 other hopefuls for the crown of the Bravo TV sensation, ”Make Me A SuperModel”.  I think she is an amazing model and that she has such a promising future in fashion, but thank sweet nougaty centered Jesus Almighty that she’s not a publc speaker.  It’s like Forest Gump was reincarnated as a leggy brunnette, God forbid if she secures a speaking endorsement, that company would go belly up quicker than a hooker turnin’ 2 for 1 tricks in Vegas.  I must say that I’m not suprised about her win tho’.  Out of all of the models in this competition, she showed real potential and not just in an “I’ve got a pretty face and someone told me I should be a model, so I quit my job to do this but I really shouldn’t have cuz they just told me that to set me up for failure” way but REAL potential.  Her photos were heavenly but her runway was simply a dream and I mean that in the most pretentious way possible.  I just hope that “Elite Model Management”, the agency with whom she’s won a contract,  actually gets her work & puts her out there and that she’s not screwed like a well to do suburban white girl on holiday in Bermuda……mm-hmm. 

-Z’maji, “I’ll see ya in the unemployment line Boo!”

 

 

 

HAUTE Models: Worship The Newbies Or God Will Kill A Kitty

Oh my God I’m so serious,  I got the email today from Jesus, your cat’s as good as dead.  Anyhoosits,  HintMagazine’s online site has a great new feature on some fresh new models that are invading the industry.  That’s right, more lovelies that say yes to hunger and no to a hearty late night run to FatBurger for triple meat, triple cheese, and chili covered taters(Mmmm, Cholesterol).  Check out these exciting additons to Fashiondom.

Z’maji, “Oh No!!! Where’s Buttons???…Buttons……Buttons……Bu……AAAGGGHHH!!!”

                                                     Edite Vilkeviciute:

         

                                                        Lauryn Tinker:

         

                                                    Agnete Hegelund:

         

Link: http://www.hintmag.com/mm/mm.php

“HAUTE” Models: David Gandy, hauter than your average bear….model….ya’ll know what I mean.

David Gandy is a spectacular talent.  He is one of the new wave of male models that are breathing life and art into some of todays most cutting edge adver-torials and exclusive high fashion runways.  This is a brief but charming feature of him from one of my favorite male fashion mags, V-Man, I give props when due.  Male Supermodel INDEED!!!

 

And just for those that really care, the proof is in the puddin’……

           

            

         

“Haute” Models: Reminding us why we need Plastic Surgery

Omotara
http://modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=358424

Jason Danza
http://modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=378080