Newz: Vogue ask is Fashion Racist…….DUH?! @*%$

                     

In the shadow of the monster that is “THE ALLLLL BLACK ISSUE OF ITALIAN VOGUE”, the current issue of Vogue(with Nicole Kidman on the cover) has a timely & relevant article on the race issue that is plaguing the fashion industry.  I wasn’t going to read it cuz I was sure there would be a lot of things in it dispelling the fact of the lack of color AND THERE WERE JUST SOOO MANY WORDS, but I took a minute to stop being a douchebag & forced myself to read it.  I must say that I was thorough pleased with the content.  It really took a hard hitting look at real problems in this field.  There were so many points and facts that were made that mirrored my own stance on the “white-out” in fashion.

                   

I really believe that, as the article states,  that it has been a tough past decade for models and that of course it’s REALLY tough for models of color.  I believe that now that the dialogue has been established,  what with legendary models of color Iman & Bethann Hardison holding forums,  I just know we’re in the market for a revolution in the industry.

 - Z’maji, “Colored girls gotta eat too!”

Article: http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/062008/page2.html

One of my favorite blogs has a lover’ly write up on the article: The Fashion Bomb

Haute Tunez: The Ting Tings Have No Manners!

The Ting Tings - Shut Up & Let Me Go!

 

My, my young lady,  didn’t mommy teach you that it is quite rude to tell someone ‘Shut Up’?  That is a rude way to tell someone to go to hell?  The proper way tell someone off is a stong uppercut to the jaw and a swift knee to the bidniss…….goodness where are your manners you rude little minx.  Now follow the Ting Ting’s down the rabbit hole, to the garden of stunt doubles and random acts of sloth.  Wha?  I don’t even know what I meant….

-Z’maji, “Shut Up!? To time out with you young lady!”

HAUTE!!!: The MET Gala Is Here!…….Anna Wintour Be Praised!

The Costume Institue’s annual Benefit Gala is an auspicious ocassion that celebrates the beauty and majesty of designers on the forefront of fashion……………..in other words it’s an opportunity for stars to get together and worship Anna Wintour in the hopes that she won’t eat their 1st born.  The highlight of course is the red carpet seeing that this is the most prestigious night in fashion.  Therefore fashnophiles,  it is my pleasure to praise those with a great stylist and RIP NEW BODY CAVITIES for those void of brain activity, that would dare to show up in trash!  Let us proceed:

 

Sweet Lil Camilla Belle in aquamarine Armani Prive…..Oh, pinch her cheeks and slap her toosh and hump her leg.

 

Thandie Newton in Chanel, lookin’ like she’ll slash your tires and steal your man, steal me Thandie baby!

 

Naomi Watts homage to screen sirens in Thierry Mugler……..awkwaaarrdd!

 

Katem’s in Armani, AGAIN! I actually like it, Scientology do a body good.

 

Christina Ricci in haute couture from Givenchy by Ricardo Tisci with that emaciated look that’s so hot right now.

 

My Jenny from the Corner rockin’ that post baby body in Alberta Ferretti.  Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, these 50 carat earrings and carat cuffs from Loraine Swartz cost more than your govenment housing…..

 

Rock princess Liv Tyler in Calvin Klein…..now that’s publicity you can’t pay for Calvin.

Gown by Calvin Klein, Sergio Rossi heels, David Webb jewels, Eva Mendes….flawless and jiggly fine.

 

American Sweethearts George and Julia in Armani accompanied by the crispy namesake himself.

 

I have no idea what Johnny is wearing, but that boy is casket-sharp and ready to meet Jesus

 

Speaking of biblical figures,  Kate Bosworth(in Chanel Couture/Pierre Hardy shoes) and Karl Lagerfeld channel The Harlot of Babylon and Satan, Prince of Darkness

 

Blake Lively is soooo uptown in Ralph Lauren and Harry Winston jewels.  She looks mah’valous……..God forbid that I might actually have to start watching Gossip Girl!

 

Manhattan princess Ivanka Trump in J. Mendel and I still can’t believe that something that looks like The Donald leaked out something this HOT!

 

David and Stick-Figure Spice looking so D’Lushus in Armani, of course, but even if they showed up in fish-fillet McSandwhich wrappers they’d still look HOT & ZEXY!

 

Sarah Michelle looking bored in Calvin Klein, “Can Me Has A Vampire To Slay Now?”

 

My S&TC sweetie Kristin Davis doin Michael Kors justice.  See ya on May 30th mama, then we shall ‘has’ the sex!

 

Don’t know who Venus is wearing, but I DO know she looks gooder than a McRib with extra grease

 

WAMP! Don’t Care!

Janet, Miss Jackson if ya nasty in a white plunging crossback from Atelier Versace

 

Zac Posen ‘doin da fool’ in what I’m sure is his own design.  At least he knows how to accessorize, Nothings cuter than a hot chick on your arm draped in couture.

Donatella Versace and her spawn, draped in faberlouz couture, dazed-confused-and hungrier than 3rd world orphans.

 

Michelle Trachtenberg’s vintage was kind of a good idea not really…….understand? Me neither.

 

I love Fergs in this Calvin Klein but her face would frighten the arizen dead

 

Joy Bryant’s plea for attention……

 

Mrs. Tony Parker lookin’ yummy in Marchesa.  Married Relations do wonders for the complextion……..and the bank account.

 

Giselle and Tommy in Versace…..all’s right in the world.

 

Beyonce’s ba-dunk-a-doo draped in Armani………Oh another chick in Armani, WoW, isn’t that different, cuz nobody else is wearing Armani….

 

What in malnourished, 3rd world hunger, Lord of the Rings hobbit face-ded, cracked out child star hail is goin’ on with the Trolsens desecrating Diane von Furstenberg gowns.  Diane’s gonna be pissed in the morning….

 

A former child star sans extra curricular drugs.  Hilary in Elie Saab and emerald/diamond jewels from Lorraine Schwartz

 

Haute ‘N’ Random: Ladies & Gentlemen………Johnnifer!

 Jen: Oh My GOD John,  for the last time size doesn’t matter                                 

 John: I just wanna know, It’s a simple question……was Brad bigger than me?

 

Jen: No, ALRIGHT, NO…….you are the king, the greatest, no other man can compare okay! Are you happy now!?  Sheesh, can I finish tanning now?         

John: That’s all I wanted to hear……

[picture source]

You heard of Bennifer and Brangelina,  Beyonjay and Sted’Prah……….well it’s my pleasure to present to you Johnnifer!  Please hold your gagging and projectile vomit till the end of the post.  Now I’m not one to give a yank about celeb gossip,  but this is sooooo hot to see them together…..they’re just sexy McGoodness.  Also John Mayer is one of the most amazing musicians in entertainment…………I wonder if he’s fornicating her yet?  Oh GAWD,  let there be an unauthorized DVD, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were such disappointments……………….and there sex tapes were bad too! (rimshot)\

 - Z’maji, “NEXT?!……………Nick’ariah!”

Sex & The City: …..And The Torture Continues

37 days til Carrie styles on them hoes in her 08 Monolos…..

888 hours til Samantha whores her way back into our hearts……

53,280 minutes til Miranda has another vajtastic voyage with Steve and bedraggles us with sarcasm…

3,196,800 seconds til Charlotte screws up her black market asian baby with good ole American parenting…….

 

………Soon we’ll be havin’ Sex!

Wardrobe Malfunction: Gossip Girls Wear Granny’s Curtains

Fooleries Past and Present

 What in the Scarlett O’Hara green drapery hail is goin on with this dress.  Fringe ain’t cute nor is it lawful in 49 states,  KILL HER JESUS - PLEASE KILL HER!  It is unacceptable to tear up your Granny’s curtains and wear them out in front of innocent, unsuspecting people………….

UNLESS, you’re a southern belle in Civil War America and your home has just been demolished by the Yankee army leaving you nothing but your dead mothers drapes with which you have your mammy design you a couture gown so that you can go into Atlanta to visit Rhett Butler and get cash funds to pay the taxes on TARA!  That is the only excuse, therefore madam, you are in violation and in need of a kick to the throat.  Leighton whats her face from Gossip Girl wore this to, of all places, the Metropolitan Opera House <GASP>.  She’s a lovely girl but who in hell left the gate open?  The bust line doesn’t even fit her iddy biddies, the waist line is bulky with the bottom of somebody’s Grandmama’s curtains & the fabric looks soooo cheap.  I guess she’s been to busy gossipin’ to notice that her gay best friend stylist is setting her up for failure.

-Z’maji, “….something nice?! Um, ok………..she don’t look as stank as I would have expected?”

A,B,C or D: Robert “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle

This mugshot of Vanilla Ice in 2001after being arrested for domestic abuse for snatching a plug of hair from his wife’s head makes him look like………

A) a cowardly HAS BEEN meth faced wife beater.

B) he stole a lace front from Beyonce’s wig crypt.  

C) a 911 case for the tanning salon. 

D) a good reason to have a makeup artist on hand when taking mugshotz.

 

Mugshot from recent domestic abuse altercation…….he ain’t learned:

 

HAUTE Tunez: Random YouTube Blessings From Whyte Jesus

Private - We’ve Got Some Breaking Up To Do

Private, is an electro-pop band that is my new obsession.  Not in a creepy stalker kinda way but in a creepy ‘I’m waiting outside the window with a hatchet so I can kill you cuz I love you so much’ kinda way………..that’s not bad, right?

They remind me of late 80’s/early 90’s Pop-R&B.  Think ’System - Don’t Disturb This Groove’.  So very goodt’ to me. 

-Z’maji, “Oh how I miss the 90’s”

A,B,C or D?: Kate Hudson “Tragedy Strikes The Closet”

Kate Hudson in a scene from her upcoming film “Bride Wars” looks like…….

A) a cheap hooker hoe trollop, flagging down clientelle.

B) the 80’s had bulemia and purged itself all over her.

C) a disgrace to her momma. (love you Goldie)

D) the perfect candidate for electro-shock therapy.

Wardrobe Malfunction: ‘Da Fool’ In The Monarchy

It looks like a gaggle of mangy crows and a bedazzled herd of trannies died to make this dress………..and then her majesty picked a few pink roses and decided to bootleg a handbag, do it Miss Monaco giiiirrrl.  The Princess Caroline of Hanover stumbled her way into the Monte Carlo Rose Ball 08′ all smiles and giggles, totally unaware that her gay best friend stylist had set her up for failure.  Ladies, if you’re an older sophisticated woman,  it is unsavoury to show up to a gala flashin’ flat, liver spotted, old skool tiddy, I mean her own kin wouldn’t even pull her to the side and help her out, that’s cold.  What is really gettin’ me is that she really seems oblivious to the fact that her bizniss is showin’.  I guess that open champagne bar started gettin real good to her and she said to herself, “I’m the princess of Monaco,  I wish ya’ll would say somethin’ bout my vintage tiddys”.  Of course she would have been the worst dressed there buuuuutt, 

 

^^Karl Lagerfeld (love him in spite of himself *the genius behind Chanel*) showed up lookin’ like ‘Beelzebub, Oh Mighty Prince Of Darkness’ and well……..well, Jesus wept.

Awwww, Whyte Jesus is weeping for her majesty……he truly loves us all.

Her Daughter however could get it and thrice on Sun’dy………

 

-Z’maji, “There’s a Gay in the kingdom that will be beheaded at noon tomorrow - SLAY HER NOW!!!”

Ummmmmmm?

Donatella Versace @ TODAY Show

 For all of those comtemplating letting some butcher plastic surgeon hack up your mug, I present exhibit A.  SKELETOR LIVES!!!

-Z’maji, “DO.NOT.WANT.”

Haute Adz: Louis Vuitton Does Acid With Murakami

Louis Vuitton by Takashi Murakami - Superflat Monogram

 

 

This one is authentic!

Somebodies been hittin that Oooh Weee - laced with embalmin fluid - dipped in bleach.  This is the most psychotic, horrifying and beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.  I know I’m about 5 years late on this one but I love anime and I’d sell myself & your whole family into slavery for some Louis Vuitton.  This is true artistry here.  This advertisement for LV by artist, Takashi Murakami, was created to launch the multicolore collection, which coincidently has been Vuitton’s most successful desgin to date.  It’s the most copied bag EVER!   If you don’t believe me turn around and look in your closet at that fake you got for $25 at the flea market.  Murakami is a celebrated giant in the japanese pop-art world who raised much hell in 98′ with his life sized sculptures, ”My Lonesome Cowboy” and “Hiropon”, both pornographic takes on Japanese animated characters.  Whatever!  I want more….

Z’maji, “Takashi is a freak!” (see below)

 Hiropon - Takashi Murakami

 

My Lonesome Cowboy - Takashi Murakami

Haute Tunez: Signin’ Over My Paycheck To Danity Kane

Danity Kane - Damaged 

Everyone knows that I loath Diddy and how he whores himself to the media, but I have to say that Danity Kane is awesome.  Diddly BOP totally lucked out when he found these girls,  I mean he really got lucky.  I LURV all kinds of music from Pop, to Gospel, to eclectice soul and as far as Pop goes, this is as good as it gets.   Honestly tho’, these girls can dance, sing and they look tasty like a box of wings from the Popeyes, YUMMERZ.  ‘Destinys’ WHO?  What ‘Child’?  Tho “other” girl groups have left us high and dry,  ”DK” has come to sooth the crack-like cravins’.  Check out my sweeties gettin’ their sexy on in silver lame,  thank ya Jesus for spandex………no big girls, that ain’t FOR you!

-Z’maji, “I know Britney’s somewhere pissed right about now”

Check out my girls givin’ pose and sweet butter pecan thigh meat:

Haute Newz: Heatherette Got That Rigormortis

 

* “Amazing Grace” plays in the background*

* Z’maji wipes away a solitary tear with an iridescent hanky and downs a 4th of Gin*

Well my beauteous Indies,  I heard it through the grapevine, and what sour grapes they are, that Heatherettes gone to that bedazzled resale shop in the sky.  I guess it’s not enough to put on really kool shows with sexy models in sparkly duds and jetset around the world doin body shots off ‘Manda Lepore,  It seems you actually have to move some product……..who knew?  Of all things to take out Traver Rains & Richie Rich, BANKRUPTCY!  I always thought it would be from a stampede at the tranny bar or bad Chai from Starbucks or a poisoned vile of glitter…….or whatever else comes in a vile*cough - cough*

Well whatever the case they’ll be sorely missed becuz they were just a lot of fun.  I know that they didn’t really have anything you could actually wear and they never had a completely cohesive line and whatever they did make was always bedraggled with glitter but they were fun.  Good times……Good times.  I wonder what they’ll do now?  What if Traver became like a cashier at the local grocery, “price check on prune juice Bob, price check on prune juice”.  Oooo, and Richie’s gonna become a priest……..a catholic priest, mm-hmmmmm.

Seriously tho’, if no one else does, Z’maji will miss you fellas

- Z’maji, “Well fellas,  there’s always gay porn……….gotta pay the bills somehow”

Check out the recent Heatherette show from Fashion Week:

                                  

Haute Tunez: Erykah Badu, Sweeter Than Reefer Marmalade

Erykah Badu - Honey

I love Erykah Badu and you should too.  She’s got style that is unparalleled, she’s one of the most amazing artist in music history, she’s drop dead gorgeous AND SHE GOTs A BIG OLE’ BOOOOOTTTTYYYY!  Check out her vid for her new single “Honey”.  Creativity is no stranger to this soul child.  Watch as she remakes some of the most memorable photos in music history like Nas’s Illmatic and the Rolling Stone cover with John Lennon and Yoko Ono.  She is the greastest……..KNOW THIS!!!

 -Z’maji, “Go get her CD or there WILL be consequences” *breaks out the JU-JU beads*

HauteBlog Has Technical Difficulties…..And Jesus Wept

<GASP><SHOCK><AWE>I know Amy, I know but you need to be more concerned about the rehab and such boo.  Sorry Fashnophiles,  my laptop is dead and I’m on the verge of commiting a crime to pay for a new one.  Nothing bad just armed robbery or check fraud or prostitution……..I’m very attractive you know.  That peice of trash computer is more dead than President Bush’s sex life,  you know that’s rigormortis dead.  I’m in the process of getting myself a new one and for fashions sake I think I’m just gonna splurge and get one of those new Apple MacBook-Air.  It’s so friggin beautiful and it would be a great new start for my blog.  I shall return with more fashion and foolishness for you very soon.  For now m’loves…………want for me!  Now enjoy this picture of white Jesus cryin and havin a tizzy.

-Z’maji, “What filthy acts of perversion do a brotha have to perform to get a MacBook?

HAUTE’N'Random: More Sex……and the City

 

Here’s your crack Fashnophiles & Sex and the City psychophants.  Kim Catrall and Jason Lewis on the set of the Sex and the City.  You know what’s funny, whenever I see either Kim Catrall or Jason Lewis, all I can think about is that episode where he had her hemmed up in her bedroom and kept switching positions on her while they were doin the sloppy bang bang body collide.  It was the most sinful, disgusting, shamefully amazing debauchery I’ve ever seen…………….Jesus was not pleased.  I don’t really know what’s goin on here, buuuuuuut,  I’m so excited…………..and, uh,……….I just can’t hide it.

-Z’maji, “I see London, I see France, I see Samantha’s soiled, promiscuous, maneating, high-priced underpants”

 

Here’s a gift from Sweet Bubblegum Flavored Jesus:

Official Poster (those shoes better be ‘Louboutins’)

 

Kim Cattrall(Samantha) on set of S&C

HAUTE Adz: Man-Diva vs Machine

And WHAT - A - MACHINE.  Between the Buggati luxury sports car and one of my personal heros, pro-footballer(soccer) and fellow man-diva Christian Ronaldo, this commercial for NikeFootball was almost sensory overload.  All they needed was Beyonce and Jessica Biels washing the car in Christian Louboutin stilletos and Versace bikinis and I woulda died and gone to play spades with Jesus in that high-end boutique in the sky.

-Z’maji, “Somebodies been drinkin their Gatoraaaade”

HAUTE Adz: Hump The Crash Test Dummies

 

Dsquared2 website

I love DSquared’s clothes.  They fill me with lust and desire and somehow………..I know Jesus isn’t pleased, mm-hmm.  Check out the new ad campaign for their 2008 Spring/Summer collection shot by Steven Meisel.  It features up and comer Sean O’Pry, you see him whispering in ole girls ear……I hope he brushed and flossed that day.  I know who I’ll be blackmailing for a new DSquared 08′ S/S wardrobe,  do you?

 -Z’maji, “Yea, uh……gimme cash funds or I’m tellin”

HAUTE Tunez: Tina’s Butter Pecan Thigh Meat

Tina Turner - Sweet Soul Music

Tina Turner - Hot Legs

-Z’maji, “Somebody pass the syrup please!”

HAUTE Designers: Raf Simons Fantastical Chic

 

Belgian born Raf Simons is the current designer that is on my radar.  He’s an eccentric artist that refuses to be photographed and was one of the first designers in the 90’s to begin to cultivate a slimmer, more delicate silouette for menswear.  I was excited by his S/S 08′ collection because of the breezy, unconventional peices that he drapped on the male models.  The phrase, “fashion is art,” rings so true with Raf Simons

The other thing I really enjoyed was the multi-colored boots and flats he presented that mirrored the Balenciaga multi-colored heels that Beyonce wore to the American Music

Awards in 07′.  Just Crazy!  And I know not every body will like it but it’s my blog and you know me Fashnophiles, I love crazy!

 -Z’maji, “Crazier than a soup sandwich”

HAUTE Tunez: Space Couture For Janet “Ms. Jackson If Ya Nasty”

 Janet Jackson - Feedback

Janet’s back and this time she’s fully covered, making it totally about the music and dancing and NOT about her breast bein forced up under her neck by a brassiere of death OR fallin out of her costume in a “wardrobe malfunction” .  The clip opens with ‘J’ in a killer black cat suit, followed by a red jumper and sexy patent leather boots.  Now, don’t get me wrong, Ms. Jackson If You Nasty is scrumpziouz but I was getting tired of feeling like she was trying to prove to us that she is still sexy.  C’mooooon Janet, that’s like Britney trying to prove that she’s not one valium short of a pain killer cocktail, we already know baby cakes.

 -Z’maji, “tee hee, that Britney joke was funny” *breaks out crucifix to pray for Britney*

HAUTE Tunes: Oh Melancholy Super-Producer

Timbaland featuring One Republic

Tim, I miss Aaliyah too but C’mooooonnn, this is just torture.  Timbaland needs a coke and a smile cuz this is the saddest song he’s done in like ever but it hurt’s me sooooo good.  I’m loggin off so I can go overeat till I pass out and cry into my pillow over lost love & unfortunate late night creeps………….I was livin foul back in the day, don’t judge me.  G’day.

-Z’maji, “Mmmm, the tears of the Suffering taste like Skittles………so good TO me”

NYE 08′…….And So The Foolery Begins

 

If you’re reading this you have obviously survived the night.  Your dignity, however is another story, ain’t it?  I’m sure it died a horrible death in the backseat of someones odd colored El Camino……….I have so much faith in you don’t I???  Regardless of last evenings shannanigans,  it’s a New Year,  a fresh start.  Time to redefine your style and splurge on that thing you’ve been wanting to add to your collection.  Time to broaden your horizons and try ON something new.  So shake off the remnants of yester-year and forge ahead.  2008 is full of fabulous possibilities, go get em’ tiger!!!

-Z’maji, “Happy NYE 08′ you fashion obsessed heathenistic couture addicted sicophants”

COUNTDOWN: DAY 1: Now You’re Tellin Me…..It’s All Oooover!!!

 

There goes 2007, fallin off in the distance…….it’s all over!  Let it go Jenn let it go baby,  You got ‘Sex & The City’ The Movie to think about.

Yes this is it, the end, finito, all she wrote.  The last day of 2007 or as I like to call it, the year of Britney Spears’s hairless wonder…..and I ain’t talkin about her head, mmmm-kaaaaay.  My New Years wish is that you all have a grand ole’ saddidy time where ever you decide to spend it.  Whether at a fabulous soiree eating some pretentiously disgusting crap-lookin’ paste on a flavorless waffer guffawing with beautiful snobs or destroying your liver tissue at a sleezy bar before passing out shortly after midnight in a puddle of your own sick(how chic…..how classi),  I really just want you to be safe.  I believe that even if you had a not-so-great year,  I believe that if you just don’t give up, fabulous things are on your horizon………you now owe me a vital organ as payment for that Maya Angelou moment, gimme dat!

-Z’maji, “Let’s pray GOD makes Beyonce ’sat’ down & rest her lace front wig in 08′

 

REEEEEE-CAAAAAP!!! 

Rihanna(best dressed) hired a competent stylist & made me tingle on the inside part

 

Purple was no longer just for pedophilic dinosaurs

   

 

 

Becks & Posh came to the U.S. and nobody cared but me *pout*

Patent leather was suitable to wear even if you weren’t a  whip weilding freak

   

  

  

 

My “Bran-Bran-Nanna-Nut-Muffin Head” was aquitted of false charges

 

And big sexy brought it home for the thick girls, GET IT J.HUD!

 

And a really righteous brotha, named Z’maji, with an odd & questionable sense of humor and an obsession with fashion started an awesome blog and met some cool people.  See ya on the other side.

-D’lihusly, Z’maji

THIS IS NOT ME!!! IT IS ALEK WEK!!! VERY FUNNY!!!

COUNTDOWN: DAY 2: bLING-bLING We Blind Ya!!!

 

Swarovski Crystal Cocktail Ring by Erickson Beamon

 By popular demand, and by popular demand I mean 3 people,  I will now put you up on game, in accessories of course.  Your ensemble isn’t complete until you’ve got your sexy party shoes, 1000 watt blinding blingage & a killer bag with all your beauty essentials tucked away in style……..oh yea, and since it’s 2007 & people don’t seem to know what celibacy is, your prophylactic(condom dummy).  Your accessory choice WILL make or break your outfit and WILL CAUSE ME TO RELENTLESSY INSULT YOU IF I SEE YOU IN THE STREET LOOKIN HOMELESS AND THRIFTY.  Now do as I say and go get your incidentals…………..accessories dummy

-Z’maji, “Oooo, shiny….”

Alexander McQueen Stripped Leather Party Pumps

Christian Louboutin Lopono Shoe Boots (Bootis)

Astrid Multi-Charm Necklace by Lee Angel

Erickson Beamon Stone Embellished Wrist Cuff

Fendi Tortoiseshell Box Clutch

 

Oscar de la Renta Patent Leather Peep-Toe Sandals

Brown/White Zebra Oversized Clutch by Jimmy Choo

Roberto Cavalli Gold-Tone Butterfly Belt in Tanned Leather

Miu Miu Leather Shoulder Bag

Roberto Cavalli Acrylic Floral Engraved Bangle

Paillette Embellished Peep-Toes by Roberto Cavalli

COUNTDOWN: Day 3: NYE Freekum-Dress Shenannigans

 

Karta shift dress with multifaceted stone embellishments - http://eluxury.com

                             

Whether she was sworn enemy or blood relative, you clowned the hostess of that Christmas party you crashed by showing up looking so haute she choked on her martini olive, passed out and had to be revived by the fat dude that was suckin down shrimp and holiday cookies at the snack table.  Well if THAT was her reaction then, she’ll go into cardiac arrest when she sees your New Years 08′ ensemble, we must be consistent musn’t we?  New Years Eve is always such a memorable night so celebrate it with a memorable outfit.  Everyone in the room should scramble to kiss you when the ball drops(tee hee “ball”, I’m so mature).  Bring in NYE 08′ with glitz and class and an involuntary manslaughter charge under your belt…..how classy……how chic.

-Z’maji, “Freek-Um, Freek-Um!!!”

Strapless silk chiffon Alberta Ferretti ombre dress

                                   

Tibi sequin striped t-shirt dress

                                   

Pedro Garcia’s Nancy glitter pump

    

Empire waisted Mint jodi arnold tiered silk satin strapless with ruched chiffon bust

                                   

Ruched beaded clutch by Fendi

                                   

Roberto Cavalli Cleopatra gown with v-neck & smocked boddice in green metallic lurex

                                   

Emilio Pucci sequin embellished wool coat with beaded toggle belt

                                   

‘See’ by Chloe shift in gold floral jacquard

                                   

Roberto Cavalli satin clutch with gold & jewel serpent embellisment

                                   

Christian Louboutin “Bling Bling” party peek-aboos

    

Metallic brocade pant by Lela Rose

    

Matthew Williamson empire hand painted full length gown 

HAUTE Tunes:Merry Jesus’mas Everybody!!!

Merry Jesus’mas to everyone and goodnight.

Whitney Houston - Do You Hear What I Hear

Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas(animated)

Celine Dion - Merry Christmas

The Legendary Clark Sisters - Get All Excited

Beyonce - Silent Night

Faith Evans - Merry Christmas Baby

HAUTE Mama!: Jurnee Done Growed, LAWD She Done Growed!!!

           

The beautiful toffee colored sensation that is Jurnee Smollett of Eve’s Bayou & Cosby fame is a grown woman……..I mean she pays bills and everything.  The December issue of Vanity Fair features the thespian work of art in its “The Vanities Girls” feature as a 50’s pinup girl a la Marilyn Monroe with billowing skirt and never-ending legs to match.  The Glamourista is currently promoting her return to film in the Oprah Winfrey produced and Denzel Washington directed, “The Great Debaters”.  God Bless Oprah Winfrey and the wedded relations that produced such a tasty treat.

 -Z’maji, “Thank God for wind machines”

      

HAUTE Man: More Semi-Nude ‘Becks’ For The Degenerates

Note: Hey Slaus this is for you…….I know how much you enjoyed the last Becks post, HA!

Here’s more pictures from ‘Becks’ Emporio Armani ads.  These are the only ones that I was able to find, in spite of the fact that I’ve combed these here ’innanets’ for more.  So please stop blowin up my Inbox asking me to look for more pictures YE THE SICK & SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED,  Yahoo is starting to send emails threatening my life and I can’t die yet,  I haven’t even met Valentino.