HAUTE!!!: The MET Gala Is Here!…….Anna Wintour Be Praised!

The Costume Institue’s annual Benefit Gala is an auspicious ocassion that celebrates the beauty and majesty of designers on the forefront of fashion……………..in other words it’s an opportunity for stars to get together and worship Anna Wintour in the hopes that she won’t eat their 1st born.  The highlight of course is the red carpet seeing that this is the most prestigious night in fashion.  Therefore fashnophiles,  it is my pleasure to praise those with a great stylist and RIP NEW BODY CAVITIES for those void of brain activity, that would dare to show up in trash!  Let us proceed:

 

Sweet Lil Camilla Belle in aquamarine Armani Prive…..Oh, pinch her cheeks and slap her toosh and hump her leg.

 

Thandie Newton in Chanel, lookin’ like she’ll slash your tires and steal your man, steal me Thandie baby!

 

Naomi Watts homage to screen sirens in Thierry Mugler……..awkwaaarrdd!

 

Katem’s in Armani, AGAIN! I actually like it, Scientology do a body good.

 

Christina Ricci in haute couture from Givenchy by Ricardo Tisci with that emaciated look that’s so hot right now.

 

My Jenny from the Corner rockin’ that post baby body in Alberta Ferretti.  Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, these 50 carat earrings and carat cuffs from Loraine Swartz cost more than your govenment housing…..

 

Rock princess Liv Tyler in Calvin Klein…..now that’s publicity you can’t pay for Calvin.

Gown by Calvin Klein, Sergio Rossi heels, David Webb jewels, Eva Mendes….flawless and jiggly fine.

 

American Sweethearts George and Julia in Armani accompanied by the crispy namesake himself.

 

I have no idea what Johnny is wearing, but that boy is casket-sharp and ready to meet Jesus

 

Speaking of biblical figures,  Kate Bosworth(in Chanel Couture/Pierre Hardy shoes) and Karl Lagerfeld channel The Harlot of Babylon and Satan, Prince of Darkness

 

Blake Lively is soooo uptown in Ralph Lauren and Harry Winston jewels.  She looks mah’valous……..God forbid that I might actually have to start watching Gossip Girl!

 

Manhattan princess Ivanka Trump in J. Mendel and I still can’t believe that something that looks like The Donald leaked out something this HOT!

 

David and Stick-Figure Spice looking so D’Lushus in Armani, of course, but even if they showed up in fish-fillet McSandwhich wrappers they’d still look HOT & ZEXY!

 

Sarah Michelle looking bored in Calvin Klein, “Can Me Has A Vampire To Slay Now?”

 

My S&TC sweetie Kristin Davis doin Michael Kors justice.  See ya on May 30th mama, then we shall ‘has’ the sex!

 

Don’t know who Venus is wearing, but I DO know she looks gooder than a McRib with extra grease

 

WAMP! Don’t Care!

Janet, Miss Jackson if ya nasty in a white plunging crossback from Atelier Versace

 

Zac Posen ‘doin da fool’ in what I’m sure is his own design.  At least he knows how to accessorize, Nothings cuter than a hot chick on your arm draped in couture.

Donatella Versace and her spawn, draped in faberlouz couture, dazed-confused-and hungrier than 3rd world orphans.

 

Michelle Trachtenberg’s vintage was kind of a good idea not really…….understand? Me neither.

 

I love Fergs in this Calvin Klein but her face would frighten the arizen dead

 

Joy Bryant’s plea for attention……

 

Mrs. Tony Parker lookin’ yummy in Marchesa.  Married Relations do wonders for the complextion……..and the bank account.

 

Giselle and Tommy in Versace…..all’s right in the world.

 

Beyonce’s ba-dunk-a-doo draped in Armani………Oh another chick in Armani, WoW, isn’t that different, cuz nobody else is wearing Armani….

 

What in malnourished, 3rd world hunger, Lord of the Rings hobbit face-ded, cracked out child star hail is goin’ on with the Trolsens desecrating Diane von Furstenberg gowns.  Diane’s gonna be pissed in the morning….

 

A former child star sans extra curricular drugs.  Hilary in Elie Saab and emerald/diamond jewels from Lorraine Schwartz

 

2 responses to “HAUTE!!!: The MET Gala Is Here!…….Anna Wintour Be Praised!

  1. Trendinista is now Trend de la Crème!

    http://www.trenddelacreme.com

    Please update links. Thanks!

  2. I want Ivanka and Giselle’s dresses. It looks like one of the Olsen twins died and the other is carrying her around, pretending like that’s not a corpse.

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