Monthly Archives: July 2008

HauteBlogBattleArena: Michelle O. vs Cindy Mc. – Hautest Prospective 1st Lady

Oooo, so Jacki O!



UFC ain’t got nothin’ on the H.B. Battle Arena babeh!  The race to the White House has been ugly and scary and no I’m not talking about crows feet tracks on Hilary’s face,  I’m talking about the war of words and propaganda that has been unleashed on the country.  So who is the Hautest Prospective 1st Lady?  Who deserves to sit at the White House bored to death for lack of anything to do?  Who deserves to have sexi-time with the leader of the free world?  Who should be allowed to cut the cheeze on Air Force One?  It’s only fitting that we pit them against each other in a duel to the death or at least until someone loses a limb or an ovary.

In this corner with the butta brown skin, Michelle Obama……, my she speaks so well for a black.  In this corner with the steely gaze of the living dead with the promise of eternal damnation,  Cindy McCain,  hide the babies.  Let the girl fight begin…..I present the evidence…..


Barrack called Michelle his rock & John called Cindy a cunt


*CHEEZE* Get my good side or when I’m 1st lady I’ll kill you


Presidential Side-Eye


Givin’ you girls 1st Lady face


  -Z’maji, “Politics is a violent sport!”


HAUTE Tunez: Humpin’ Crash Test Dummies w/ JDavey

For some reason, wordpress isn’t letting me post vids right now,  so check the screen caps then click on the link below and get yo freak on babeh!  WordPress be damned!

JDavey is a new duo that is one of the most exciting music acts I’ve heard in a good loooooong minute.  They’re funky, sexy, wild’n’crazy and they’ve found a more productive use for crash test dummies……..bumpin’ uglies and blatant PDA.  Oh yea, that dummy wanted it and but good!  They’re not just for car crashes no more,  get you some good old unnatural, mechanical lovin’.  Of course some of you are saying, “I already get that from the dead beat I got at home” *ZING*!!!  It’s 08′ baby, get you a new model…………..hope the warranty’s still good.

-Z’maji, “Oh to be a crash test dummy”

Beautiful Ones: Face


HAUTE Goodies: Erykah & Tom Make Sweet, Yummy Flava


My dah’ling alien queen Erykah B, aka: Apples, aka: Annie NoPannies,  is the face for Tom Fords luxurious new ‘smell good’,  White Patchouli.  What a d’lushuos surprise to be surfing these ‘innanetz’ and find sweet Erykah semi-nude,  channeling Diva Goddess Suprema,  looking like she caught sex spasms in her butta brown thigh,  yummiez.  The scent will be available in September, coinciding with the opening of Tom Ford flagship stores, each with it’s own signature fragrance.  There will be 30, 50 and 100 ml eau de toilette’s and a complimenting body creme.  I bet this is Tom Ford doing his part to add more *ahem* color, to the fashion industry.  Gold Stars and Jelly Beans for you Mr. Ford.

-Z’maji, “Erykah’s new album, The Fourth World War,  is coming.  Save up your hush money.”

A,B,C, or D?!: Oprah

The Queen of All Media, Big-Giver and New Age enthusiast Oprah at Nelson Mandela’s 90th berf’day dinner looks like…….

A) Sophia LIVES!!!! (You tole’ Harpo to beat me!?!?)

B) she could win a wet t-shirt by a land slide.

C) thick, luscious, middle aged chocolate thunder poured into a doily.

D) she dressed in the dark cuz Stedman forgot to pay the light bill at the check cashin’ place.

E) no matter what I say about her, she’s still rich and I’m not………YET!  KNOW THIS!