Monthly Archives: October 2008

R.I.P.: Mr. Blackwell Goes To That Great Big ShowRoom In The Sky

The razor tongue’d attention whoring catty lonely old queen fashion critic, who once referred to Diana Ross as a ‘Martian meter maid’ (OUCH),  passed away in Los Angeles of complications from an intestinal infection *sad*.  I still think he was talkin’ a lil too much smack about Madonna and one of her gays laced his food with LSD and broken glass……should’na been talkin’ that yang!  Blackwell was the originator of the Worst Dressed List as his was the harshest and most unforgiving.  I dunno,   I don’t think he was soooo harsh let’s take a look at some of his more charming comments about women in entertainment:

Madonna: “The Bare-Bottomed Bore of Babylon.”

Barbra Streisand: “She looks like a masculine Bride of Frankenstein.”

Christina Aguilera: “A dazzling singer who puts good taste through the wardrobe wringer.”

Meryl Streep: “She looks like a gypsy abandoned by a caravan.”

Sharon Stone: “An over-the-hill Cruella DeVille.”

Lindsay Lohan: “From adorable to deplorable.”

Patti Davis: “Packs all the glamour of an old, worn-out sneaker.”

Ann Margret: “A Hells Angel escapee who invaded the Ziegfeld Follies on a rainy night.”

Camilla Parker-Bowles: “The Duchess of Dowdy.”

Bjork: “She dances in the dark — and dresses there, too.”

Spears: “Her bra-topped collection of Madonna rejects are pure fashion overkill.”

 

Well…………I guess nobody showed up to THAT funeral and if they did they probably just came to make sure he was dead………………or throw rocks at the body.         

 -Z’maji

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Mag Rag: Bouncy McJiggle’yums Is InStyle

Mrs. Carter is cheesin’ it up on the cover of InStyle magazine’s November issue.  Suprisingly they don’t have any vulgar or compromising pictures of her doin’ the booty hop, tootsie roll or pop-lock’n-drop it’s, but I’m just a boy……..I don’t understand………PUT A RING ON IT.  I personally love the drama of big hair and sparkly clothes which are her signature but I must say this toned down breezy bohemian glam is quite refreshin’.  I love the golden smokey eye and the neutral lip,  it’s just right so that you can actually see the girl.  The laced fronted,  chicken grease smothered,  beautiful eye’d girl!   

-Z’maji, “UH-OH, that don’t look like House of Dereon……….Mama Tina is gon’ beat that head in!”

HAUTE Goodiez: Jeremy Scott Freakz Adidas, Z’maji Has Tizzy!

 

 

*DROOL*

Tizzy = Certifiable, murderous, overexagerated, God forsaken, Oprah VS Tyra, borderline canniption of a fit!

 

On February 1st, 2009,  if you all hear about a beautiful young colored boy goin’ cockeye-ded,  Boy George,  knife weildin’,  Beyonce weave whippin’, homicidal crazy at an Adidas store in Houston, Texas,  it was me.  That’s when the new sneakers designed by Jeremy Scott will be available to the public.  I already know I’m gonna have to fight somethin’ with poppin’ lip gloss and angrily arched brows named ‘JayLaVonte ShaCreem’ or ‘LaMicheal McPatty Cakelets’  or somethin or the other and I want to inform you all my beloved blogsmen that I will be winnin’ that match………even if that means I’ll have to wear my NEW gold wing Jeremy Scott Adidas to a court hearing for attempted murder.  I’ll be a slick, funky fresh felon.  Get off my glamorous thangs!

-Z’maji, “Sneeeeaaaakers……..*gurgle*”

[Look MA!  I steal’d it at Nitrolicious]

HAUTE Tunez: Ciara Makes Her Point!

Ciara – Go Girl

……….and her point is, “I’m Ciara……………..know this!”

Now CiCi,  I know your mommy told you that it’s not polite to pop your ba-dink-a-doo in the peoples face’s before they’ve payed general admission and all the unspecified surcharges and service fees?!  This video has all you need: Fashion, Double Jointed-Groin Shattering Flexibility,  and Classy Ghetto McBooty Cakes…………….Gawd Iz Goooooddt’

-Z’maji,  “I would be afraid to be one of the girls tryna compete with her,  I hope they ate their Wheaties and Egg Whites with a Metamucil chaser!?”

R.I.P. : CosmoGirl Caught That Rigormortis

 

 

Say it ain’t so,  CosmoGirl is out of bidniss?  Well nobody slit their wrists or gouge out their eyes in grief and bitter mourning.  I’m just sure that if CosmoGirl is gone that the Armageddon can’t be far off *SARCASM*,  I just pray to the sweet tasty lamb of God that the 4 horsemen aren’t complete douchecacks that’ll reduce us to wearing polyesther and anything designed by Lauren Conrad.  The people at Cosmo shouldn’t be too suprised tho’,  I mean children don’t read now-a-days.   They’re too busy watching The Hills and payin’ bums to buy beer for weekend kegers and playin that hippity-hop music.  Well I guess I’ll have to find somethin’ else to burn for kindlin’ in those unforgiving winter months.

-Z’maji, “If they hadn’t off’d themselves, woulda done it myself,  not as messy and less self esteem to clean up afterwards”

Beautiful Ones: Golden

 The splendor of the Sun,  fallen to earth, bewildering mere mortals.  Beautiful shimmering entity,  the master of men’s covetous hearts.  Requiem for the blameless and unblemished.  All that shimmers belies destruction but all come willingly for the promise of Gold.  Magnificent Gold!