Monthly Archives: September 2009

Alexander Wang Croc Print Jacket…Get It Before RiRi Does!

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Everybody’s doin Rihanna’s style these days and as they should cuz lets face it, that thang really is all that,  I mean she really i-yus.  Here’s an Alexander Wang creation that looks ready to hang off RiRi’s butta brown frame.  I’m sure right now you’re thinkin of taking out that second mortgage or callin up that sugar daddy you went all neck wigglin independent woman on talkin bout “I don’t need to lay on my back to get ahead in life……..well not anymore now that you’ve already given me what I wanted, put a ring on it!”

Who knew that the big head lil hottie would turn into a real style icon, not me.  To be honest I was in my prayer closet, wrapped in my cashmere prayer cloth prayin for a rabid herd of trannies to take her out……..I’m sorry but Pon De Replay really pissed me off peoplez.  Anyway, she proved me wrong and though her music still doesn’t move mi nalgas, her style has captivated me.  Clearly it’s done the same for others as I was shocked to see the new BeBe catologin which the whole style was very RiRi goth,  did they pay her royaltieez for swaggah jackin, I bet not one red cent, fabulous thievin whooorez.

S&TC Candids Are Porn

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…well my innards are gettin all hot and bothered anyway. 

Here’s my dah-lingk’ SJP doin Material Girl chic.  She almost has it, she just needs to accessorize with a flamin, itchy case of the herpes and a bleeding canker sore and the look will be complete.  OMGoG, soon there’ll be more of Samantha’s overactive cooter for all the Sex and The City fanaticalz to giggle into there over priced butter substitute popcorn.  Jesus please don’t let me queen out like I did when the last movie came out,  my balls finally drop back into place and I don’t wanna have to go through that again……..oh crap, that wasn’t supposed to be out loud.

Jermaine Jackson Closeup To Ruin Your Coffee Break

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Is it possible that you spent a little too much time Sharpie’ing in your hairline that you forgot to press on those surgical grade lashes.  I really didn’t want to come for you Jermaine as I went to bible study last night so I’m feelin really holy and stuh’, but you’re a repeat offender and if you insist on being seen in the light then you clearly are askin for it.  You and your paint by number hairline recieve two drill team demerits and open fisted slap for neglecting your press on lashes, do it again I’ll kill you, no seriously I kill you.  Now I know you think that your plastic hair helmet will protect you but just like Vivica’s hairline had to find out the hard way,  I always win.  Love you like Jesus and Dem.

VMA’s Are Delushsizz Dah-linhk’, Simply Maaadening!

The VMA’s are as unpredictable as wedding night for 2 virgins,  it might end with a show stopping performance with special effects and a light show or it might end in tears with some douchcack *cough*Kanye*cough* ruining what was supposed to be the greatest night of your life by getting his and leaving you unsatisfied, greasy and cheated.  No matter what happens at this 3 ring monkey spectacle,  there’s always something interesting to view which brings us to our 1st monkey, the fabulous and avant garde Lady of Gaga

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Jean Paul Gaultier be damned,  tar’d and feather’d, diddle’d and slaughtere’d,  I lovez it.  I lovez it so much,  I’ll forgive the bloody desecration of that beautiful white leotard during her performance,  talk about a heavy flow!  Po’ chile’ don’t even know where she is right now………..Land Pooh,  the runway is clear, land.

 

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Thick, buttery Creole drizzled McJiggleYumz poured into couture,  must a say more?

 

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The hippy wonder kilt in a Balmain mini and thigh high platform boots.  I surely wanna thank ya mama for all that puddinz.  I feel international relations improving as I speak,  thank ya Gawd!

 

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And for his charcoal, finely tailored Calvin Klein unit, the award for Man-Diva Ovahness goes to………..um,………?

 

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Alicia Keys in mirrorball glam,  who knew that those gams were hiding under that piano?  Cocoa Butter does a body good.

 

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Dapper dandy Chace, does dressy casual b’cuz that ‘I just knocked down a few shameless and eager groupies at the hotel on my Sealy Posturpedic’ look is carvin fashion identiteez.  Thumbs up!

 

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They say that Beyonce let Solange out the basement to perform her sisterly duties such as carrying B’s purse,  retouching B’s lip-gloss,  tasting B’s champagne to make sure it was laced with poison but I say she floated right off a runway and gave us fever that no ‘dragon’ could ever muster.  Take me back to the basement with you Solo,  I’ll let cha shave me…….

 

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Well he might be full of poo and diarrhea but Kanye knows how to accessorize.  Check the snakeskin bag on his arm,  that bag is really holdin,  I mean it’s stuffed.

Haute Tunez: Asian Androgynous Fabulousness’es

D Dragon – Heartbreaker

D Dragonis a Korean rapper/singer and I use rapper quite loosely cuz I’m loose………..-I MEAN NICE, I meant nice,  I’m very kind that’s what I meant.  I know what you’re gonna think, ‘that there is a pretty Asian girl…what her number is’, but like Caster Semenya, there’s more to the story.  This is a dude and he’s the lead member of a boy band called “Big Bang”…………*silence*.  I know, I know, with a name like “Big Bang” for a boy band the gay cracks just seem to assemble themselves but I will not have you sayin things like ‘I wonder who plays the girl’ or ‘BIG bang? aren’t we being a little generous’…………I just won’t tolerate those sort of comments, they’re quite offensive so save it.  It’s  hard to explain the vid but just watch it and you’ll love those crazy Asians and their over the top theatrics just as much as I do.  It’s like a drag show without the military ‘tuckin’ and the paint by number make-up masks.  Love!