If this Kate Gosselin wig ain’t enough to scare you into holiness and righteousness, there’s a dangerous chance you’re gonna need some supernatural SPF for your permanent tour of duty in hell. Over the weekend while you were doin the breaststroke in a puddle of your own sick, the celebrities were dressed in party store trash, doin the cock-eye’ded-fool for Hallee’weenz. The Devil’s still workin yawl and that girl is PMS’in on a MOOOOONSTROUS rag cuz this blasphemy upon Fashiondom, I’m sure, has even the Lord Christ of Glamour clutchin his pearls of divinity……he got them at Jareds! I must say a few of the peoplez did put out a lil saaaaxy(Nic and Mariah), but some of these poor unfortunate souls are clearly a part of a dark and sinister plan to bring about the Apocalypse and the resurrection of polyester blends, how flammable. Where is Anna Wintour’s bob of wonder to save the day when we need and serve justice silly down on these gyrls?! Gird your meatz and proceed with caution:
Designer Michael Kors in vintage hippie and Kim Zolciaks plastic wiglet gerbal hat.
Martha Stewart as a furry, upper intestine turd and one of her gays as the Scotsman the turd dropped out of.
Say one word about The Divine Miss M and I’ll destroy yo life and hull out the cavities of your corpse to smuggle designer goods into unfashionable countries!
Celebrity schmoozer Steven Cocojaru, his many rows of teef’ and what’s left of his right mind. (Strike 1, hairy arms with chiffon – death threat to follow)
Nic and Mariah burnin with the saaaxy glow of holy married relations and financial stability.
Between the blazin orange hair and the silver stretch body suit, I don’t know if Letoya Jackson’s supposed to be an attention whorin, fire crotch or a bedazzled, disco camel toe.
Wendy Williams silicon meatz came as Dolly Parton and wore her as an accessory.