Yeeeeee-Dawwwgggy! Well slap my cakez and stirrup my heffah hoez, who knew that country folks wore anything but Yee Haw jean overalls and the crisp, raunchy fragrance of horse droppinz? Wretched! Well I didn’t know…….really I didn’t. Honestly, the most amazin thing is that everybody had all their teef and no one was chewin on a piece of straw. Of course, that’s false advertisin. I mean, I don’t even think there was anybody there that could say that their girlfriend was also their sister, what kinda knock off hoe down is that? I just love that glittery backwoods chic of the CMA’s in all it’s bold, blonde, wide toothed bustiness and itz sparkling cloud of toxic hairspray. I say a health lung tissue is a small sacrifice to make for Country music’s biggest night! Mmm, smells like cow chips!
*takes a puff from oxygen tank*
This is Rebe McEntire………and this is her fine middle age’d body draped in a low cut sequined gown, jealous much?
Kellie Pickler lookin real right in a copper lame onesie, not sure about that hair, Do Ovah Pleeze!
Best Dressed of the night, Sugarland! Tailored suit and Tier-Trained gown game propah! Jennifer…..how YOOOU doah?
The Power House Underwood in all her pageantee glory! Miss Nashville better watch her spray tan’d bikini stubble!
Kanye victim Taylor Swift in a chiffon sequined prom dress.
Country’s hottest couple, The McGraws, lookin real sexy for Jesus
LeAnn decked in all white AND a white gown *rimshot*. Get it? NO?…….Get OUT!
Nicole and Keith and her bosom, all choked up – screaming for air and retribution
Uh Oh, Man-Diva Ovahness Alert! Someones lookin Fabuluuusssss Danny Gokeeeeyyy
Chuck Wicks givin you face in a casket sharp, two piece. Somebody put a mirror under his nose to see if he’s still breathin…….