Category Archives: Cougarz

Girrrrlll, Demi Moore Is PhotoCHOP’D & Still Look Gooder Than You


After you’re done drooling on my blog and leave a substantial check to pay for the water damage you’ve caused maybe you’ll be able to read my post! *scowl of southern gentlemanly disapproval*

The cover of this Decembers W magazine has some how taken us for dribbling, diaper wearin idiots b’cuz it says that this fine piece of estrogen is 47 years old.  Now I might have to wear a diaper on occasion but I am not an idiot, a prefer the term ‘selectively moronic’.  Alas, however, the flyin monkey trolls over at Wikipedia say that she is in fact 47 but that’s of course if you want to buy into their confirmed and validated, time-tested information,  PUH-LEEEZE!  Even tho these pictures have clearly been touched by the au natural magic of photoCHOP demons, we all know from our inappropriate teenage fantasies that she basically does look just like this.  Oh Demi, I don’t care if your hip gives out and your skin turns paper-thin causing a rustling sound every time you take a deep breath, you’ll always be the Cougar whose Depends I’d love to change…………Ewwww!





HAUTE Tunes: Spice Girl Cougars Turn Me On!!!

The Spice Girls have returned older and hotter than ever.  I mean it’s not like they are  ‘gummin’ apple sauce or prunes but I mean I was a preteen when they were last hot.  I’m excited, hot older women rockin’ high-fashion duds and writhing around in a trashy loft apartment just does something for me…..anybody???

Spice Girls – Headlines

Z’maji, “Could the movie Spice World 08′ be far behind? Oh please God let it be”

“HAUTE” Mama: Monica B’s sweet goldilocks


The most fabulous piece of fine feminine fortitude to ever cross the Atlantic, Monica Bellucci, is on the cover of the November edition of Vanity Fair-Italy.  Someone’s been eatin’ their Wheaties!  The Italian vixen pouts her way through a breathtaking layout in black nylons and a very lucky white sheet……pose Monica….do it baby.  Monica, blonde is your friend,  eat your heart out Kate Moss……….you know she’s hungry too.

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-Z’maji, “mmm, I-talian, my faaav’rite”