Look children, it’s Gwyny P. lookin all fab and stuff! Oh My GAHD! Her shoe/bag game is bananas, BANANAS I tell ya and the fact that this woman recently bazooka’d out 2 screaming larva should really make you begin to make some life assessments. Chris Martin must be (get ready for one of my ghetto soliloquies) beatin’ it out the frame in fulfillment of those husbandly duties. She looks all refreshed and optimistic about tomorrow, not like the mother of two migraines but like a woman with a randy husband home from prison! Whatever the case, I just want to spread her on a Triscuit with aerosol cheese and snort her like the last fix I can afford till payday, but since she’s all vegamorterium(not a real word) I’ll just have her in some bean curd with a wheat grass chaser………..
photos courtesy of FabSugar
– Z’maji, “And look Ma!……………no make-up!”
Through the years, I have been known to call Gwyneth Paltrow everthing under the sun from ‘malanin deficient bean pole’ to ‘bulemic boy chested trollop’ to ‘talentless slope headed bonebag’………but I digress. I’ve also been known to be hasty in forming my opinion of people in the past but sweet magnificent Jesus is working on me. Whatever the case I must admit my new found fascination with Gwyny P. Since she’s put herself back on the scene she’s been really living up to her “fashion icon” title. Just in the past few weeks she’s been promoting her return to the screen in Iron Man and BOY has she been workin’ it out, looking like she’s never had a screaming human larva come tearing out of her lower half, child birth ain’t nothin nice. Gwyny, I TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID AND SWEAR MY TOTAL DEVOTION TO YOU AND THOSE LEGS, MYYYYY GAWWWWDDD! That’s what an Oscar winner looks like!
– Z’maji, “Hot Legs………..the best accessory known to man!”
Yes Ma’am……not even KFC has leg that good!
Ummm…….why, oh why is Gwyneth P. really just killin the cover of “W” as if they told her that if she didn’t they would end her life. W Magazine seems to always have the most amazing cover shots but precious Jesus, this is sick. I guess thats what happens when you shoot out some babies(parasites). GODDESS…….hmmp……Indeed.
Then we have J.Lo, and I know all of you fashn-o-files out there have seen this picture over and over and over until you’ve wanted to do yourself bodily harm, but come on. Jenny from the block is givin the Fashion Rocks people their moneys worth….OKAAAY! And she is totally owning that D&G metal demi-corset, Dolce and Gabana better be greatful…..that kinda “pub” cost baby. Do it Miss Lo.