*Rachel Zoe stacatto rambling* “Couldn’t – You – Just – Uh – Die?”
Of course, I personally could’ve died watchin this, but the delicious blood of Christ has beat back the kunt of death…………I thank you dear Jesus……thank you. Y’know, the only way you can tell which is the real Rachel Zoe is by the premium strand donkey hair weaving around the hairline. Everybody knows Rachel Zoe, my boo, don’t wear no premium strand, nothin but midwest trailer shedded flyaways. That cyborg too did up to be my boo! *gum pop*
Remember that time yawl had to scrape together some money to bail me outta jail when I tackled the lip-glossed kunt that was holdin that last pair of Adidas JS Wings by Jeremy Scott and I had to hire Johnny Cochran from beyond the grave to play the race card against the system to get me off bcuz the lip-glossed kunt, JayLaVonte ShaCreem and his sidekunt LaMichael McPattyCakeletz, who shall remain nameless, decided to press charges cuz he alleeeeged that in the collision his hymen was broken, therefore stealing his virginity *inhale*. Well the 2010 collection for Adidas by Jeremy Scott is here and I’m standing across the boutique from her kunty lipglossedness and he’s holdin the last pair of Jeremy Scott polka-dot parachute pants and well……….yawl take out a pay day loan, I’ma need yawl to come get me from the clink again…..CHAAAARGE! Hurry before the inmates realize I have the back-doe cakes and thighs of a healthy corn-fed southern belle, I got my back pressed against the cell wall, prayin in tongues as we speak.
Pictures via: Freshness Mag
Dear Jesus of Divine Ovahness,
Oh cosmic stylist of heaven, I snap Z formation in a circlez 3 times in the beauty of your glamourness and things of that nature. I know that itz your will for me to be more beateous than these carbon based life forms and their Payless couture, so won’t you please get for me my very own collection of men’s 2010 Louboutins. I’d buy it myself but I don’t think Mr. Louboutin takes food stamps and who knows how many babies I’d have to steal and sell on the black market for that kinda cash. I was gonna call up Sugah Mama so she’d buy it for me but for some reason people seem to look at that kind of transaction as prostitution and I won’t be a part of that kinda foolishness………………anymore. If you do this for me, I promise to never again plot against Anna Wintours bob of wonder……….well……at least not on Sun’dy. Hurry Jesus cuz I’m clenchin my brown eye in anticipation, I wantz it!
In the strength of Leyomi’s strong Cro-magnon jaw line,
P.S. I’m still waitin for that bedazzled LouWee Baton duffle with a lock of premium lace wig from Sasha Fierce, yaaahs
If you were ever in a 12 step program for addiction to Oochy-Wallah and the Projects Sex and The City, then you’re a Patrica Field stan(fan + stalker = stan) like me. Patricia was the costume designer/stylist for the series and the movie. I wonder if she also styled the Sushi bikini Samantha’s snackerdoodle wore in the film *ponders*. I personally had to go through a 3 week deliverance service, were I was doused in anointin’ oils and suffocated with a prayer shawl and by the sweet, delicious spittle of Christ I was delivered……….now I only watches the re-runs. Back in everyday people land, Patricia Fields online store has debuted new pieces for the forward and ris-kaaay. Body suits, jackets, dresses and Patricia’s original claim to fame, leggings. I would cop me a pair of the mens legginz and break out these buttery brown thigh meatz on yawl but I don’t want to be anybodys reason to embrace the piss green spirit of jealousy, that girl is a’mighty unsavoury!
DSquared is killin yawl girls with pose and sophistication. I personally have been lusting after a wardrobe full of their wares but whenever I’ve tried to buy any my credit card told me to go kill myself in the face. Ho-hum, I guess I’ll just have to do it like classy people and get me a suga mammi with a platinum card & a generous disposition. Or I could live like an animal and get a regular job like everyday people *shudder*.
[peeped at FashionIndie]
The haters will slay themselves when they see you in these candy coated kicks by Alejandro Ingelmo. As you high-step it through the crowd you can rest assured that what you’re really stepping on is their self-esteem, leaving foot prints all up and down an already shaky ego. Poor children……..
Peeped at: [FashionIndie]