Category Archives: HAUTE Man Person

Jake’Emz: So Easy, Breezy….

Ah Jake, I can see from your stylish ensemble you’ve made a personal Christian commitment to bless God with your life.  I thank the Lordt’ for you ministry.  I will be holding you at gun point and pistol whippin that head borrowing that scarf………..and, jacket………………slacks……..y’know, uh, just…….just don’t be expecting to wear that more than this one time.

P.S. What “water” stain on the front of your left pant leg?

Periodicals Is HAUTE: The ‘Boy Next Door’ Stole My Sang’which

 

………and didn’t even say “thank you!” – that’s not the Christian way?!  Shia LeBeouf, who is quickly becoming a ‘Man Of Style’,  brightens up the cover of GQ June 08′.  The golden boy is about to be immortalized in the much anticipated “Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”………I could throw up right now from the geeky excitement rising within my man-bosom.  Check him out rockin’ the two piece with the ‘Marlboro Man’ scruff and the bedroom eye-ded swagger.  That’s a good look!  I still wish that rumor about him and Rihanna was true,  Interracial lovin’ is HOOOOOOTTTT!  I can’t wait for this movie……..Now check out Shia below eatin’ my sang’which, Thief!

 – Z’maji,  “I’m one Sci-Fi convention, dressed as Capt Kirk, away from never getting a girl again!”

 

Dapper Dandy: Dark, Brooding & Employed

 

So fresh, so clean, still on the payroll.  Milo Ventimiglia is representing for the dark mysterious ones at the NBC/Universal event promoting the upcoming season for Heroes, which I’m obsessively pining for like the Sex & The City movie.  That’s a good look even if he does look like he’ll kill you if you try to leave him…….beware Hayden Panettierre…….Oooo, that rhymes!

-Z’maji, “C’mon dude, Smile!”

HAUTE Style: Simon Sayz……Iridescence!

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Simon Webbe of the British boy-band phenomenon, Blue, attended the UK premiere of “I Am Legend”.  The R&B sensation man-diva’d his way down the red carpet bedazzled in a finely tailored, copper colored blazer with studded motorbike gloves and his signature, slightly askew mohawk,  I love when artist take risks.  This of course is no shock b’cuz he always shows up polished and prepared in trendy, masculine ensembles,  he has such great style.  Someone has a gay stylist……………….and that GIRl is fabulouuuuuuusss!  Check out his performance of ‘The Killers’ hit “When You Were Young” at the ICA.

-Z’maji, “No, No…..he’s not gay, he’s just British”

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HAUTE Man: More Semi-Nude ‘Becks’ For The Degenerates

Note: Hey Slaus this is for you…….I know how much you enjoyed the last Becks post, HA!

Here’s more pictures from ‘Becks’ Emporio Armani ads.  These are the only ones that I was able to find, in spite of the fact that I’ve combed these here ‘innanets’ for more.  So please stop blowin up my Inbox asking me to look for more pictures YE THE SICK & SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED,  Yahoo is starting to send emails threatening my life and I can’t die yet,  I haven’t even met Valentino. 

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Haute Ads: David Beckham’s Mystery Package….hmm

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Becks is a great reason to hate yourself and run to the bathroom and slit your wrists, as he reminds you that you will never……ever…….EVER, look like this.  In his new Armani underwear ad,  for which he was reportedly paid 20 million pounds(DEAD),  the super athlete puts his best……..uh……FOOT, forward.  Honestly,  David is simply just bein David…….flawless.  I hates him………………just kiddin…………………….or am I?

-Z’maji, “Is that a high power black market handgun or are you just happy to see me………..back up dude!”

HAUTE Man: Josh Hartnett In Vogue Hommes

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Who knew a dirty, filth laden junk yard could be so haute.  I want a busted old school Malibu too, don’t you?  Josh Hartnett broods his way through a stylishly simple editorial shoot in Vogue Hommes Intl. in perfectly tailored man-chic perfection………….all while breaking and entering…..how chic…..how elegant.  Watch out Josh, those fabulous pristine white husky guard dogs are tryin to upstage your shoot, BEWARE OF DOG………Indeed!

 -Z’maji, “Trespassing on private property has never been so faberluss”

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