Category Archives: HAUTE Style

HAUTE Style: Dita Is Such A Tease!

 Dita: Oh Sweetie, I didn’t say that you could actually speak to me…….oh bless your heart….

 

 

Mm-hmm,  I’ll take a side of that with biskitz and gravies,  xtra cheeze pleeze!  Miss Dita came out to give face and reinforce low self-esteem in women everywhere for the launch of her line of lingerie for the WonderBra company.  She was all a glow in old Hollywood glamour with complementing sumpshusness. She’s like yummy dipped in yummy covered in d’lishus sprinkled with yummiez and drizzled with alabaster torture!  Don’t you just want to gobble her up?  I just want to spread her on a soda cracker and snort her like blow!  Oh My GAAAAHHD!  I guess makin’ sloppy dirtiez with Marilyn Manson does a body better than milk………….course you’ll burn in hell but you’ll look like Dita!

-Z’maji, “When Satan claims Marilyn’s dirty soul,  I got dibs on Dita!” 

 

Here’s the commercial,  try not to drool on my blog,  it’s unrefined:

[Look Ma!  I steal’d it @ DListed]

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Haute Style: Gwyneth Be Stylin’ On Yawl Girlz!

 

Through the years, I have been known to call Gwyneth Paltrow everthing under the sun from ‘malanin deficient bean pole’ to ‘bulemic boy chested trollop’ to ‘talentless slope headed bonebag’………but I digress.  I’ve also been known to be hasty in forming my opinion of people in the past but sweet magnificent Jesus is working on me.  Whatever the case I must admit my new found fascination with Gwyny P.  Since she’s put herself back on the scene she’s been really living up to her “fashion icon” title.  Just in the past few weeks she’s been promoting her return to the screen in Iron Man and BOY has she been workin’ it out, looking like she’s never had a screaming human larva come tearing out of her lower half, child birth ain’t nothin nice.  Gwyny, I TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID AND SWEAR MY TOTAL DEVOTION TO YOU AND THOSE LEGS, MYYYYY GAWWWWDDD!  That’s what an Oscar winner looks like! 

 – Z’maji, “Hot Legs………..the best accessory known to man!”

Yes Ma’am……not even KFC has leg that good! 

 

 

HAUTE Style: Straws Not Just For The Horses No-Mo’…

Hear ye, Hear ye, get yourself down to the local high-end department store and hold em’ hostage for a straw bag…………or just get a job and buy one, it you go for that sort of employment thing.  Mena Suvari(WHO?!) was caught on somebodies red carpet with a faberluss oversized Valentino Nuage straw bag, which I’m sure she had to return at the end of the night…….friggin’ D*listers.  How cruel to subject that poor bag to be on the arm of what’s her name.  Oh well,  hopefully some of you girls and I’m sure a few of you guys will go out and give some beauteous accessory a nice home.  Time to max out that credit card or get some jackass to max out his……..whichever one makes you sleep easier at night.

-Z’maji, “All you need now is a grass skirt and a coconut bra”

 

Get Some Fiber In Your Wardrobe:

Valentino Nuage straw woven armbag

 

Bleecker Straw Clutch by Coach

 

Francesco Biasia-Glenda Tote in White Straw & Croc Stamp 

 

Michael Kors Large Santorini Straw Shopper 

 

HAUTE Style: Kim Kardashian – Beyond Cheap Porn

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The newly dubbed socialite(GAAAHG) and Reggie Bush detainee was recently at the ‘Style Your Slim’ event looking like a peice of ‘CLAWD-HAMERCY’ dipped in ‘THANK YA JESUS’ with a side of ‘HALLE-LUCYAH’.  Check out Ray J’s ex-jump off in a lovely silicon hugging grey sweater dress and sueded knee high boots,  just screams cash funds don’t it?Just goes to show that it doesn’t matter if someone “stole” a private moment that you and your then boyfriend tapped for “your own personal use”,  you still can come out on top………or on bottom or whatever position that you’ll decide to bend yourself into next.  Now just because you can’t take career advice from Ms. K, that doesn’t mean you can’t get some style tips from her.  Afterall she is a……..a um……….socialite?

-Z’maji, “Say YES to silicon buns of jelly”

Get HAUTE Like Kim:

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Rebecca Taylor mini tunic

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‘Juicy Couture’ Juicy Pearl Bow Hoops

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Pedro Garcia ‘Xaide’ Boot in Suede

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Knee-High by Zulli

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Roberto Cavalli Velvet Pochette (raised floral embellishment)

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Alice & Olivia Sequined Sweater Dress

HAUTE Style: Beyonce’s Studded Tootsies

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Beyonce rocked the Ariella demi-boot from Christian Louboutin at the Nets game while hammin it up with her Jigga-Boo and Kanyeezy……….4-sheeeeezy.  Shhhh, if you listen the boots will say somthing to you, they say, “kick her in the head and take me”.  These beauties are from the 2007 Christian Louboutin collection but it’s a haute add to any shoe collection.  Plus my sexy Fashnophiles, why should Beyonce have everything.  If you can’t have her disgustingly rich man, you can at least have her shoes, can I get a witness?

 -Z’maji, “Lace Front Wigs AND Christian Louboutin shoes…………what a woman”

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 Ariella Demi-Boot by Christian Louboutin

Get Haute Rocker-Chic Foot Game Like Beyonce:

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Christian Louboutin patent leather Avedere lace-ups

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Just Cavalli Patent Platform Ankle-Boot

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Donjon knee-boots by Christian Louboutin

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Alexander McQueen Leather Boots

HAUTE Style: Surrender To The BOB!!!

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Don’t fight it baby…….relax, just let it happen……..you know you want it.  The BOB is taking over and even tho I’m not one to conform to every little thing that beauty and fashion throws to the masses, I gotta say……. it’s kinda turnin me on.  The reason why I can really get with this overwhelming trend is because you can get yourself a BOB buuuuuttt,  there are soooo many different cuts and color selections that you can still create your own look without compromising you.  Your stylist(if he/she/undecided is competent) can give you a cut & color that complements your face and sends your whole look into a new dimension.  You don’t have to worry about assaulting some chick at the same event as you because she has the same style……..unless you want to be classy and fight just because. 

 -Z’maji, “Get yo’ hair DID!!!”

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HAUTE Findz: Sneakers Are The Devils Candy, Mmmm

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Raf Simons Astronaut Sneaker Boot (divos)

I’ve combed the web for you my devoted Fashnophiles to find the sweetest Tennies for your perfectly pedi-ed tootsies………and even if your feet look like dead rotten appendages from a horror flick you still can be down.  I believe in having 2 nice pair of sneakers, 1 in white and 1 in black, then after that, do tha fool and FREAKUM.  There are so many options, so many colors & styles becuz companies are competing for the attention of shoe fiends and foot fetish degenerates everywhere.  Your wardrobe ain’t right until you add a few pair of wildly colored, obscene “kickz”.  THUS SAITH Z’MAJI….

 -Z’maji,  “Do as I say or a kitty will die”

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Dolce Vita by Timberland (dolls)

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Reebok Freestyle Mid Tokyo (dolls)

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14k Muska Skytop by Supra (divos)

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Harajuku Lovers ‘Rainbow Frank Kogal-Fold Tex’ (dolls)

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New Balance 570 Sean D’Anconio (divos)

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Vans ‘Super Sk8-Hi in Paint Drip Slip’ (dolls)

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Kanye Graduation Air Force Ones (Source – Necole ***chie Blog)