Jeremy Scott Owes Me Soooo Much Bail Moneyz

adidas Originals by Originals Jeremy Scott   Fall/Winter 2010   Lookbook

 

Remember that time yawl had to scrape together some money to bail me outta jail when I tackled the lip-glossed kunt that was holdin that last pair of Adidas JS Wings by Jeremy Scott  and I had to hire Johnny Cochran from beyond the grave to play the race card against the system to get me off bcuz the lip-glossed kunt, JayLaVonte ShaCreem and his sidekunt LaMichael McPattyCakeletz, who shall remain nameless, decided to press charges cuz he alleeeeged that in the collision his hymen was broken, therefore stealing his virginity *inhale*.  Well the 2010 collection for Adidas by Jeremy Scott is here and I’m standing across the boutique from her kunty lipglossedness and he’s holdin the last pair of Jeremy Scott polka-dot parachute pants and well……….yawl take out a pay day loan, I’ma need yawl to come get me from the clink again…..CHAAAARGE!  Hurry before the inmates realize I have the back-doe cakes and thighs of a healthy corn-fed southern belle, I got my back pressed against the cell wall, prayin in tongues as we speak.

Pictures via: Freshness Mag

adidas Originals by Originals Jeremy Scott   Fall/Winter 2010   Lookbookadidas Originals by Originals Jeremy Scott   Fall/Winter 2010   Lookbook

 

adidas Originals by Originals Jeremy Scott   Fall/Winter 2010   Lookbook

MANmaries All In Ya FlatScreen, Blame Old Spice Dude!

 

 

 

Old Spice Dude answering questions to fans and celebrity stalkers?  My Gaude, My GAUDE!  ARRRGGH, Tiddys!!!

Everytime I turn around Tiddys!  Old Spice Tiddys here, Old Spice Tiddys there, everywhere!  Old Spice Tiddys on the t.v. & on the radio. Old Spice Tiddy shapes in the clouds, jiggle flexin through my nightmares, holdin up banks at gunpoint, suffocatin death row inmates for the state to save tax payer dollars and NOW Old Spice Tiddy setz on the YouTube?!  Did  a certain *ahem* starlet part her thighs and unleash Apocalypse already?  Well, If you ain’t know, Old Spice dude is shuckin them MANmaries for fortune & fame and I’m p-i-ss-e-d.  Of course, if the truth be told I have the tiddy envy.  Not that my boi-tiddyz aren’t evuhreethiing, but……..well……..Old Spice dudes are just…………well, bigger than mine.  It just reminds me that I benchpress the same amount as a sickly young armless girl and that’s just depressing.  Enjoy these tiddys while I get back on my workout regimeeenn.

 

 

More Old Tiddy here: OldSpiceYouTube

 

 

Do Not Feed The “Greasers”, Thus Saith Calvin Klein

 

calvin klein jeans fw2011 5 CALVIN KLEIN JEANS F/W 2010/11 AD CAMPAIGN by MERT & MARCUS | FULL CAMPAIGN

Here’s Calvin Kleins 2011 Fall/Winter ad campaign which proves that manorexia is alive and well…….or at least until it collapses from lack of good ol’ fatnin eats.  Y’know what tho, No other pretty young white children could’ve done the “greasers” look better.  In my opinion, when it comes to jeans, I’ve always been torn between Levi’s original and Calvin Kleins. Both are sturdy, made extremely well and both are sleek enough to go undetected when smuggling out of a store under another pair of jeans……..so I’ve heard.   Really, the only difference between the two is whether you want your balls crushed in front of you with rug burn from your pubes or whether you want your balls crushed under you in the mildewy dankness of the taint.  Which pair will do which foolishness is for you to find out and me to laugh about later when you become sterile with the humorous and bitter spirit of erectile dysfunction. For me tho, nothing matters but the fit cuz I’ve the thighs and boy-donk of a Clydesdale stallion to fill out both.  Now, isn’t that all that matters here?

calvin klein jeans fw2011 6 CALVIN KLEIN JEANS F/W 2010/11 AD CAMPAIGN by MERT & MARCUS | FULL CAMPAIGN

 

calvin klein jeans fw2011 2 CALVIN KLEIN JEANS F/W 2010/11 AD CAMPAIGN by MERT & MARCUS | FULL CAMPAIGN

 

calvinkleinjeans CALVIN KLEIN JEANS F/W 2010/11 AD CAMPAIGN by MERT & MARCUS | FULL CAMPAIGN

Merry Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day Americanz!

Let us not forget that this day is not about stuffin your lovehandles with BBQ’d carnage but about the men and women that had the balls to put their tiddies on the glass and tell opponents of freedom, “No Ma’am Gyrl! Not in my country, now sat down and shat up”.  Don’t get me wrong now, I’m about to get ugly with a plate of mesquite pig knuckles myself, but while I’m lettin the demon of gluttony have itz way, I’m gonna be pourin out some of my mama’s homemade chicken chitlin glaze for our fallen military peoples.  They deserve that and so much more, thank you wonderful soldiers.  This is one person that will never forget.

ELLE Netherlands Stole Yo Mama Clip On Ponytail

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

 

Giiiirrrrrllll, yo side ponytail is everything but you boy tiddy gets 2 drill team demerits.  I was about to urinate on my screen, as I thought this was Lindsey Lohan at first, but then I realized it wasn’t and clenched to spare my co-workers and computer from an unnecessary golden showah, WRETCHEDT’.  ELLE mag gets the best lookin dolls for their covers don’t they?

 

R.I.P. Alexander McQueen

 

In an age of wannabes, copy-cats and attention whores, there was an original by the name of Alexander McQueen.  What a magnificent, unparalleled soul. How tragic that he’ll never again take us by the hand and lead us down the rabbit hole to that beautifully frightening universe where zombie dolls and chiffon clad phantoms frolic in fields of heather colored houndstooth. The misunderstood legends of art now have a fellow in tragedy, of cruel fate. He was simply, THAT dude!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Gaude Said Let There Be Italio-Japanese Ovahness

Giuliano Fujiwara Fall/Winter 2010 (MilanFashionWeek)

1. This is Fashion

2. Keep An Open Mind

3. Note The Strategic Layering and Shut-Up & Respect My Authoritaaaaar

This is the Giuliano Fujiwara Fall/Winter 2010 collection that recently showed at Milan Fashion Week and before I go get a payday loan to get myself some, lemme tell you about it.  This seasons collection seems less calculated and not as glossy as the previous with what’s being called “Grunge Street Samurai” which makes me feel very DragonBall-Z, I Super Saiyan on yawl girlz! *Ahem* Uh, there’s almost a serene undertone to its careless chaos.  Now I know generally when men wear skirts its followed by a chorus of It’s Raining Men and a shot to face of confettiz and glitterz but in this instance I want you to take your head out of your sphincter and understand these skirts are more Eastern Religion chic than RuPaul control top pantyhose’d military tucks.  SashayShantaeSHABAAM!